


For the Love of a Chocobo

by Flamefyre



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, semi-au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-14 21:22:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4580610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flamefyre/pseuds/Flamefyre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cloud's having a rough time as a SOLDIER cadet, but when Zack enters the picture, could life be worth it after all? Semi AU, adult situations and language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Zack couldn't think of the last time he'd been so awed by a cadet. At Sephiroth's orders, he had observed one of the training sessions to assess the recruits. Now he stood, leaning casually against the wall, watching the boys spar with each other. The sergeant was pacing back and forth, squawking out orders and correcting stances. He hadn't noticed Zack yet. The man grinned to himself when he thought about the sergeant's guaranteed expression of stupefied shock.

The small, blond-haired cadet he had his eye on was pounding his opponent into the matted floor of the training center. Zack bit back another grin as the boy caught his adversary in a headlock, forcing him to the ground, where the bigger boy tapped out. "Yeah!" Zack cried, punching a fist into the air. Everyone froze, and he almost started laughing.

"C-Commander Fair!" the sergeant stammered. "To what do we owe the pleasure, sir?"

"Oh, don't mind me," Zack assured him. "Carry on. I'm just observing."

The group got back to work under the sergeant's harsh instructions, and when the class had been dismissed, Zack approached the older man. "So who's the blondie?" he asked.

"Which one, sir?"

"The short one." 'Nuff said.

"That's Strife. OI! STRIFE! GET OVER HERE!" the sergeant bellowed, and Zack turned to see the small blonde trotting over from where he'd been about to exit the premises. He slid to a stop in front of them and snapped a smart salute.

"Yes, sir?" The boy's voice was soft and sensual, but firm, suggesting that he wasn't as delicate as he looked.

Zack nodded to the sergeant. "I'll just talk to him a little. You're dismissed." The man saluted and left the room. "So," Zack began, turning back to the boy. "What's your first name, cadet?"

"Cloud, sir," the boy replied, still saluting.

"At ease," the raven-haired man said, and Cloud relaxed a bit, bringing his arm back down to his side. "I noticed your performance in class today. You're a bit small to want to be in SOLDIER, aren't you?"

Cloud flushed. "I am not!" he burst out. "I'm just as—" He broke off with a terrified expression when he realized he had yelled at a commanding officer. "I-I-I mean," he started, then fell silent, looking sick with fear.

Zack snorted in laughter, and the boy looked puzzled. "It's all right, Strife. I was baiting ya. I like your spirit, and how you manage to perform so well despite your, ah, obvious size disadvantage. No, don't glare, you know it's true," he added as the boy scowled. The hen remembered himself.

"My apologies. Thank you, Commander Fair, sir. I appreciate your praise."

"At ease again, cadet. I won't bite. Now, I'm willing to offer private lessons; you're too advanced for this class, and I know there aren't any more openings in the next level up. If you'd like, I can give you some one-on-one instruction."

Cloud brightened. "Really? That would be so awesome! Sir," he added hurriedly.

"Cool. When are you free?"

The boy flushed again, only this time from embarrassment. "Any time," he said quietly. "I don't really have any friends I spend time with, so…" He trailed off, looking painfully awkward. Zack clapped him on the shoulder.

"Okay, short stuff. How about Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at, say, seven? After dinner? I'm off-duty then, so it should be perfect."

Cloud nodded. "Sounds great, sir."

Zack grinned at him, violet eyes affectionate. "All right, you're dismissed, Strife. I'll see you tomorrow at seven."

"Yes sir!" Cloud replied, looking ecstatic. "And thank you again!" He practically  _skipped_  off, and Zack smiled to himself, a warm feeling growing in the middle of his chest.

Cloud trotted down the hallway to the mess hall, feeling so light he could fly.  _Commander Fair! He spoke to me! He's almost as big a hero as the General, and he spoke to me and even wants to help me train!_ His heart fluttered in his chest as he accepted his food and carried his tray to an empty table.

Cloud always sat alone; no one else tried to befriend him, and he didn't try to approach anyone either. Sometimes he wished he had a friend to talk to and laugh with, but knew he wouldn't find one in his fellow cadets. He was constantly picked on for being short and quiet, and no one else stepped in to help when he tried to fight off multiple attackers alone. He was used to being lonely and could deal with it just fine, thank you very much.

* * *

The next day, Cloud felt nervous and jumpy. He couldn't wait for classes to be over so he could meet up with Commander Fair to practice. If someone so important had taken an interest in him, surely he would become a SOLDIER, right?

Right.

Cloud  _horked_  down his dinner and arrived at the gym far too early. He was feeling so tense he thought he would go ahead and warm up. He was jogging his fifth lap when the door opened and he caught sight of his hero. Well, one of them, anyways. Commander Fair flashed him his trademark grin, and Cloud slowed his jogging. His heart was pounding, though whether it was from the run or his superior's presence, he didn't know. It was the running, he ultimately decided. Definitely the running. "I was just warming up, sir," he told the man.

"Hey, I'm off-duty. Call me Zack, okay?"

Cloud gulped. "Okay…Z-Zack."

"No, no," Zack said with a laugh. "It's Zack, not Z-Zack."

Cloud flushed. "I know," he said heatedly. "It was just a stammer." He started to stretch out, loosening his shoulder, arm, and leg muscles so they wouldn't cramp and tear later. Zack leaned his enormous Buster sword against the wall of the gym and started to strip off his clothing until he was in only his standard-issue pants and a tight black wife beater.

"The other crap's a hassle," he explained, joining Cloud in warming up. "Sometimes I think about just showing up to work butt-naked to see what Seph would do to me." He grinned when Cloud blushed.

"S-Seph?"

"Yeah, you know, the General? I call him Seph."

"And he doesn't gut you?" Cloud squeaked. Zack laughed.

"Naw, we're buddies," he said, tossing a grin at the boy who was staring at him with wide eyes. "C'mon. Let's do this thing," Zack said, rolling his shoulders to loosen them. "We'll start with hand-to-hand combat, and maybe later on I'll work with ya on sword fighting. Sound good?"

Cloud nodded fervently. "Yes, sir. I mean, Zack," he added in a rush when the black-haired man scowled at him playfully.

"That's better. All right, come on. Attack me." Zack took his stance and beckoned. Cloud didn't move, assessing his opponent briefly. Zack was at  _least_  a head taller than him, and much more heavily muscled. Cloud knew he wasn't lacking in muscle mass but damn, this guy made him look frickin' scrawny. Zack's shoulders were broad and Cloud knew he'd never have a weight advantage. He launched himself at the tall man, trying to use his leaner, lither body to get a hand up, hoping he was faster than Zack. It proved to be fruitless; the SOLDIER seemed to flow like water, and was always just where Cloud didn't want him to be.

After half an hour, Cloud still hadn't landed a single hit, and he was gasping for air.  _Fuck, these guys are tough!_  he thought, panting. He spotted the man's fist traveling towards his face and threw up his arms in a block. The motion was weak, and the defense gave, slowing down the punch but not preventing it from smashing into his nose. With a small cry, Cloud's hand flew to the extremity as blood gushed out onto the mat and he lost his footing and fell. Zack dropped to his knees beside the boy and pulled his hands away from his nose to inspect it.

"Shit, Cloud, I'm sorry," he said. "I thought I was pulling my punches, but I guess I got carried away. It's not broken, is it?"

Cloud shook his head, using his shirt to staunch the flow of blood. "Just a nosebleed," he said thickly. "I'm fine."

Zack sat back on his heels. "Damn, kid, I'm sorry," he said again.

"It's okay." Cloud smiled, and even through the blood, he managed to look adorably innocent. It made Zack feel quivery inside, but at the same time saddened him. He thought of that naïve face among all the cruel machinery of war, streaked with blood and eyes turned to hard chips of sky blue flint. "Zack?" The voice wormed its way into his thoughts, and the man started. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Zack ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's take a break."

Cloud nodded, bunching the hem of his shirt against his face. The bleeding had slowed, and he wiped the excess blood from his mouth and chin. Looking down at the stained cloth, he grimaced. "Looks like I killed someone."

Zack gave a nervous laugh. "Yeah." He leaned back on his elbows to stare up at the dark ceiling. "So tell me why you want to join SOLDIER, Cloud."

The boy looked down, twisting the bloodied hem of his shirt in his hands. "I made a promise to someone back home," he said quietly. "I said I would become a SOLDIER and protect her from everything."

Zack grinned wickedly. "Girlfriend?"

Cloud blushed. "N-no! Just a friend, a friend!"

Zack leaned back so he was lying flat on the mat, his arms folded under his head. "Suuuuure, Cloudy boy. A friend."

"No, really." Cloud sobered and looked down again. "I guess I kind of have a crush on her, but she only sees me as a friend, and not a very close one." He sat cross-legged on the mat.

"Where's home?"

"Nibilheim."

"Where the hell is that?"

"Mountains." Cloud's expression was a little distant, and Zack could tell he didn't like talking about his past life, but wouldn't say admit it, especially not to a superior. He saw the blonde's gaze drift to his Buster blade, and Zack grinned at the longing in the boy's eyes.

"Wanna give it a try?"

Cloud's head snapped around. "W-what?"

"The sword," Zack said, nodding to it. "You're staring at it like a magpie looking at his hoard." He laughed at the red staining Cloud's cheeks. "C'mon, I don't mind. As long as you don't gain superhuman strength and run me through with it." He held a hand out to Cloud and pulled him to his feet, retrieving the sword from its spot against the wall. "Here." Cloud took the sword, a look of awe crossing his face. He frowned as the end dropped to the ground.

"How do you  _hold_  this, let alone swing it?" he asked incredulously. His arms trembled with effort as he managed to lift the blade about an inch off the ground. Zack laughed.

Cloud stiffened when he felt the man's chest flush against his back, Zack's arms coming around him so his hands could grip Cloud's on the sword hilt. "Like this," Zack murmured in his ear, lifting the blade easily and going through a few passes with it. Cloud, trapped between his body and the sword, was forced to move as well. He couldn't even breathe with Zack's chest pressed to his back like it was, his large hands covering Cloud's smaller ones that gripped the blade. He felt his body heating up, and knew his cheeks were on fire. When Zack stepped away, he let out the breath of air he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Zack took the blade from Cloud's limp hands. "See?" he said. "Simple." Cloud snorted.

"Yeah, right. I don't have your Mako-enhanced strength, remember! That hunk o' junk weighs at least twice as much as me!"

Zack's violet eyes widened. "'Hunk o' junk?' Nooo! It's okay, baby, he didn't mean it!" He embraced the sword, rubbing his cheek against the flat of the blade as Cloud looked on.

"Uh…" was all the blonde could say. Zack started to dress again, grinning.

"Well, you insulted her," he said. "Give me a hand, will you? The shoulder armor is a bitch to put on yourself." Cloud hurried over and stood on tiptoes to help the SOLDIER dress. His hands were shaking, but if Zack noticed, he didn't mention it. "Thanks, blondie," the man said when he had his shoulder pads on properly. He reached out and ruffled Cloud's hair, drawing a blush from the blonde. "Sorry to cut the training session short, but I forgot some paperwork I had to do." This was a bald-faced lie. In reality, Zack felt his body responding to his previous closeness to the boy, and goddamn it, he had to get away before he threw the kid to the mats and did him right then and there.

Cloud nodded. "It's okay. I'll see you Friday, I guess?" He looked hopeful.

Zack forced a smile. "Yeah. Friday." He left the room, striding quickly to his own quarters where the rest of the 1st SOLDIERS' stomping grounds were. He let himself in and tucked the Buster sword away before flopping down onto his couch with a groan. Zack couldn't get the blonde cadet out of his goddamn mind. Whenever he let his thoughts stray, the boy was in them, the slender, lithe body that rippled under his clothing whenever he moved, his bright blue eyes, the angelic face framed with its spiky gold hair. Against his will, Zack pictured Cloud writhing under him, face contorted in pleasure as Zack pounded into—no. Shit, he was getting a hard on.

"Aw, I don't need this now," he moaned. "I'm frickin' tired…" The area between his legs throbbed as if in a declaration that it would  _not_  be ignored, no matter how exhausted its host was. His heartbeat speeding up, Zack's hands flew to his belt, unbuckling it in a rush as he opened his fly, sighing with relief when the hardened flesh sprang from its confines. With a groan, the raven-haired man wrapped his hand firmly around himself, closing his eyes and picturing Cloud spread-eagled on his bed, sans clothing.

Zack moaned, throwing his head back as his hand began to move in a quick up-and-down motion, pleasure coursing through his sweating body. God, he wanted Cloud. He wanted to fuck him senseless into the goddamn wall, bed, table, whatever was available. Floor.  _Bath_ tub. A tingling feeling was coiling down in Zack's stomach, winding tighter and tighter as he gasped and moaned in ecstasy, his hand moving faster. The tightness in his lower belly suddenly shattered, flooding him with white-hot heat as he came with a strangled cry, spurting into his own fist.

The black-haired man leaned back against the couch cushions, his chest heaving and sweat trickling down his temples. As he came down from his high, Zack felt guilt prickle at the back of his neck and was suddenly disgusted with himself. With a noise of revulsion, he wiped his hand clean on his pants. Cloud couldn't be more than sixteen. Zack himself was twenty-four, for God's sake! He shouldn't be thinking about  _children_  like that. Zack suddenly felt like a nasty old pervert, one of those old, crusty men who got off on kiddie porn.

"I'm a mess," the SOLDIER groaned, covering his face with his hand. He made his way to the bathroom, shedding his clothing on the way. He was going to take a nice, warm shower and think about the godforsaken reports Seph would make him fill out in the morning. He was not, he repeated,  _not_  going to think about the cadet who made him all hot and bothered with his spiky blonde hair and big blue eyes, that beautiful body—Zack let out a screech of frustration and stalked into the shower, turning the cold water on full blast. So much for a warm shower. Damn that boy.

* * *

Cloud switched off the shower, and the absence of sound made the silence echo all the louder. He could feel heat in his cheeks, heat that hadn't left since he and Zack had parted after the training session. All he could think about was the man's hard body pressed up against his, his heady smell wrapping around Cloud so he felt faint. And his hand! Cloud groaned. What he wouldn't give for those strong, calloused, battle-worn hands to run over his body, to hold him close and love him…

The blonde boy shook his thoughts away and began to dress, enjoying the quiet of the normally loud showers. He made his way to his room in the barracks, the one he shared with at least twenty others. He hated the lack of privacy, the smell of sweaty, adolescent males, but he knew SOLDIERs got their own quarters. He just had to stick it out until then. Right now, the room was mostly empty; his classmates were either doing work in the library, or more likely, picking up girls in the slums. Cloud stretched out on his bed, closing his eyes and thinking about his day.

In his mind's eye once again, Cloud saw Zack's broad grin, his jet-black hair and violet eyes, his flawless, honey-colored skin. For the millionth time that day, he felt his cheeks burn. He had to hide his attraction to the man; he was teased enough without everyone gossiping about how he was a queer as well. In reality, he'd never felt so much physical attraction to another male, though he had kissed another boy before in his youth. That kiss, however, paled in comparison to the electric feeling of Zack pressed up against his back, his hands covering Cloud's…

 


	2. Chapter 2

As weeks passed, Zack and Cloud fell into an easy rhythm together of meeting up on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for training. Zack worked with him on everything from sparring to grappling, and even some tentative sword work. They had developed a close friendship that pleased Zack immensely and confused the hell out of Cloud.

_What could such an important man see in me?_ he thought when Zack would spot him in passing and yell out a greeting. He was ecstatic that the black-haired SOLDIER was paying attention to him; it felt so good to have someone to talk to, however used to loneliness Cloud was. It had even gotten to the point where Zack would drop by during meals, even though he had the privilege of eating in the classier, much nicer 1st cafeteria. He would slide into the seat across from Cloud and ignore all the jealous looks of the other cadets, going on about something or other that Sephiroth had made him do. Cloud felt a quiet contentment when the man reached out to ruffle his hair affectionately or slung an arm around his shoulders in his friendly way.

The only downside to having such a friend was that the bullying had gotten worse, but Cloud was able to hide it from Zack, since they didn't usually hit his face. He didn't want any pity from the man. Sometimes when things were dark, he would wonder if Zack was just being nice to him because he felt sorry for him. God, please let that not be the case. He'd die if he found out that Zack was like all the others deep down.

Cloud was pulled from his mental wanderings by his sergeant's yell. "STRIFE! QUIT DAWDLIN'! FIFTEEN MORE LAPS FOR STANDIN' THERE STARIN' INTO SPACE LIKE A LOVESICK BROAD! C'MON, LADIES, PUT YER BACKS INTO IT!"

_Damn, that old geezer can yell,_  Cloud thought irritably. He started jogging, his tired muscles complaining with every step. Even with extra instruction from Zack his daily training was tough. Wearily, Cloud forced his legs on, slowly pushing through lap after lap until he'd completed the required amount. The class had ended, and so he made his way to the showers to clean up before dinner.

Zack didn't stop by that day; he must have had too much work to escape from Sephiroth's clutches. Cloud sat down at his usual table and started chowing down, hungry from the exercise. His appetite had become larger than ever since he'd become a cadet; all the calories they burned training had to be gained back  _somehow_  and more exercise sure as hell wasn't the answer, like all the sergeants seemed to think.

When he had finished and put his tray in the proper receptacle, Cloud started towards the gym. It was a Friday, so he had training with Zack. It was still early, but he had nothing else to do. He trotted down the halls, feeling refreshed after showering and eating, eager to see his friend. He reached the gym a whole half-hour early and thought half-heartedly that he should warm up. Cloud sighed. He was especially sore today, and more exercise wasn't looking like fun to him.  _But I have to…I have to be a SOLDIER!_

The door to the gym slammed open, and he turned with a bright smile. "Zack!" The happy expression dropped from his face when he saw that it wasn't Zack, but a gang of five boys, all taller and older than him. He recognized them as his fellow cadets.

"Hey, Cloudy boy," the one in front sneered, sauntering forward. He had slicked-back dark brown hair with a lock that fell loose into his eyes. His cronies weren't much to write home about—tall, burly, all with cruel grins and hard eyes. Cloud backed away, looking wary. Five of them? He could handle one, sometimes two, and sometimes even three, but  _five_? Fear welled in his chest.

"What do you want?" He had to force his voice not to shake, but it trembled a bit anyways. The leader's grin widened.

"Ya waiting for your fuck-buddy?"

"He's not my—" Cloud began hotly, but was cut off with a sharp backhand to the face.

"Shut up, Strife. I'm talking, so ya don't interrupt. So how is it? Ya like fucking a higher rank to gain some favor? What's he promised ya?" The boy moved closer so he was right in Cloud's face, but the blonde refused to yield any more ground. "A nice, cozy spot as a First? A good fuck with General Sephiroth? Huh?"

Cloud felt his blood boiling as the brunet continued to describe lewd fantasies starring him and Zack. "Zack is a  _friend_ ," he hissed out finally. "He's nothing but a friend! I'm not trying to gain favor, and I'm certainly not fucking him!" He ducked the fist that shot forward and drove his own into the brunet's stomach. When the older boy doubled over, Cloud grabbed his head and kneed him in the nose, breaking it cleanly. The boy howled in pain, and his cohorts attacked. Cloud fought back tooth and nail. Training with Zack had improved him greatly, but he was still small, and there were too many.

He struggled, managed to break free, and stumbled back. His lip was split and he had a shiner, not to mention countless other bruises and pains all over his body. His wrist felt broken. Cloud ducked another punch and choked as a foot slammed into his chest right on his solar plexus. Driven backwards, Cloud barely registered being caught by a firm grip as he wheezed for air. When the hands didn't let go, he struggled furiously.

"Cloud?"

The boy looked up into the violet eyes of Zack, who had caught him as he'd been thrust backwards. The SOLDIER's gaze took in the scene, and the purple orbs hardened.

"Someone had better tell me what the fuck is going on here, quick," he said in a quiet, deadly voice. "And your story had better be damn good."

The group of bullies snapped lazy salutes, a few of them sporting evidence of Cloud's struggles. Zack felt a little surge of pride when he saw the brunet who appeared to be the leader nursing a broken nose, blood pouring down his face.

"Well, ya see," the brunet began, "We were wonderin' what was so good about him. We hadn't gotten to the fun part yet."

Zack's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

The boy leaned close, not even bothering to sound respectful towards his superior. "I wanna see if his ass is really so nice and tight that you'll fuck him for a favor."

Zack's self-control snapped. In a flash, he'd let go of Cloud and seized the brunet by the collar, slamming him up against the gym wall none too gently. In fact, the boy's head cracked against the concrete audibly. The SOLDIER didn't seem to care. Fury seemed to smoke from his skin. Cloud, even in his half-conscious state, observed with awe. He had never seen Zack angry before; the man was always cheerful and smiling, for God's sake. This new side to him was a bit frightening.

"If you  _ever_ ," Zack began, "say anything like that again, I will rip your fucking heart out and make you eat it. I'll say this once. I am not fucking Cloud, and he is not getting any favors from me. I teach him one-on-one because he's  _good_. If there was another more promising than he is and my schedule permitted it, I would do the same for them." Zack smiled then, but it wasn't filled with humor and cheer. It was a feral, predatory grin that said he'd like nothing more than to disembowel the boy in front of him. With a final jerk, the SOLDIER let the brunet go. He slid down the wall, wheezing. "I don't have to fucking explain myself to you," Zack said coldly. "I'm feeling generous right now. If you and your boys get out of my sight in ten seconds, I'll think about leaving you be."

There was a scuffle, and the five boys high-tailed it out of the gym, terror skating across their features. Zack calmed his breathing as he watched them go, knowing he was far from finished with them. He was  _beyond_  pissed. That anyone had the gall to attack Cloud made him furious. Wait. Cloud. Zack looked around, spotting the boy curled on the mat a few feet away. He rushed to his side.

"Chocobo-head," Zack said softly, pulling the boy into his arms. "C'mon, look at me." Cloud's baby-blue eyes cracked open and he tried to mumble Zack's name through a mouthful of blood. "I'm so sorry, Spike," Zack said, lost for words. He scooped Cloud up in his arms and began the trek back to his room, ignoring the curious stares he got from others in the hallways.

When they reached Zack's living quarters, he juggled the limp body in his arms so he could unlock and open the door. Setting Cloud down on the couch and removing both their boots, Zack saw that he'd slipped out of consciousness. Probably for the best, he thought.

Cloud opened his eyes to see Zack's face come into focus. He stared into the violet eyes dreamily. There was something warm and damp rubbing against his face, and it took him a moment to realize he was in an unfamiliar place, his body hurt all over, and Zack was wiping his face with a damp washcloth that was quickly turning red.

"You're awake, blondie," Zack said with a smile. Cloud tried to smile back, but winced as his split lip reopened. Zack's look turned to one of concern. "Don't move, Cloud. You got fucked up pretty badly," he said, sponging blood away from his friend's face. Cloud nodded and lay back, letting his superior clean up his wounds. When Zack had neatly bandaged the areas that needed it and cast a Cure on his broken wrist, Cloud dared to try to sit up. Zack helped him lean back against the couch cushions.

"Thanks," the boy said quietly, looking down.

"No problem." Zack was watching him, now leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "Cloud," he started. "Does this happen a lot? You had some fading bruises when I lifted your shirt up. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't want you to pity me," Cloud said firmly, still refusing to meet Zack's eyes. "I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, you were doing a great job back there!" Zack snapped, then sighed. "Cloud, you are an amazingly talented fighter. But you just can't take on five guys! I'm surprised they didn't kill you. They were going to rape you, you know." The last part was said quietly.

To Cloud's horror, tears began to build up in his eyes, and for the life of him he couldn't get them to back down. They spilled down his cheeks in waterfalls, splashing onto his knees and the couch. Zack cursed under his breath.

"Cloud, I didn't mean to make you cry…" He dropped down beside the boy and took him in his arms. "Come on, Chocobo-head, stop it. Shhhh, it's okay. I'm here, everything's okay." Zack stroked his friend's back, mindful of the bruises that were now healing slowly thanks to his Cure. Cloud's body shook with sobs as he buried his face in Zack's shirt, not even caring that the motion hurt his battered flesh.

Zack held the boy for what felt like hours, thankful that his body wasn't reacting embarrassingly; the sight of Cloud unhappy quelled all sexual desires in a heartbeat. He coaxed the cadet's body into his lap to make the hugging angle less uncomfortable, and reached up to carefully wipe away a few tears.

Cloud gave a last, hiccupping sob before he forced himself to stop crying. He felt his face burning red with shame. SOLDIERs did not cry. Hell, grunts didn't even cry. He was mortified that Zack had seen him break down like that over nothing. Cloud studied his hands in his lap, too ashamed to meet Zack's eyes.

"Cloud," the man said, taking his chin in one hand and forcing them to look at each other face to face. "Crying isn't something to be embarrassed about. Hell, every so often I break down and sob like a baby, just because I can."

Cloud stared. "You don't."

Zack grinned. "Well, okay, I don't, but I've seen battle-hardened veterans bawl before. Trust me, it's nothing to abhor. I'm sorry I made you cry, though. I didn't think—" He broke off. "I need you to talk to me, Cloud. I know you're being bullied, and so there's no use denying it." Zack's voice softened. "I need you to tell me if you're gang-raped as well."

"No," Cloud said flatly. "They don't rape me, Zack."

"It's still harassment, Chocobo-head. They can be court-martialed for it."

Cloud grabbed his arm. "No! Don't you see? That'd just make it worse!" His voice took on a pleading tone.

"Cloud…"

"Please, Zack! Please don't tell anyone." Tears welled up again. Zack felt his heart twinge.

"Okay, Spike, but you have to promise to tell me the next time you get bullied. Even if they're just beating you up, it's not right and should be stopped. All right?"

Cloud's eyes flashed. "Or you'll do what?"

"I'll…" Zack racked his brain. "I'll tickle you to death!" He seized Cloud's foot and tickled the bottom of it, making the boy writhe and giggle. Zack smiled. "That's better. You're much cuter when you're smiling, Cloudy boy."

The blonde flushed. "I am not cute," he said crossly. Zack grinned.

"Aww, you are too!" He tussled Cloud's hair fondly, then dumped him unceremoniously back onto the couch. "I'm gonna go grab a beer. Want one?"

Cloud looked at him reproachfully. "Zack, I'm underage."

"Pfft. No one'll care. I bet your cadet buddies drink all the time." Zack dug in the fridge and pulled out two cans, tossing one to the boy. "Loosen up. Stay here tonight and we'll hang out, have some guy talk, whatever."

"Guy talk?"

Zack grinned, flashing his pearly teeth. "If girls can have girl talk, we can have guy talk. C'mon, Spike! Live a little!"

Cloud scowled. "Fine," he said sulkily, popping open the beer. "If I get in trouble, it's your fault."

"No one else is around, you're not gonna get in trouble," Zack said, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his own drink. He sat back down on the couch and grabbed the remote, clicking on the TV. "You wanna watch a movie? I hope you like horror, Cloudy boy."

"Ew, no!" Cloud said. "Don't you have something nice and…not gross or scary?"

Zack laughed, going to the cabinet under the TV to look. "Nope," he said, his voice muffled. "It's all gory and awesome. Oh, look! I have The Shining! Cloud, come on! You have to see this!"

"No!" Cloud almost shrieked, clapping hands over his ears. "I hate scary movies!"

"How can you want to join SOLDIER if you can't stand blood?" Zack asked, bewildered, and Cloud scowled.

"It's not the blood, it's the fear factor," he mumbled, looking abashed. Zack shrugged and popped the movie in anyways.

"I'll cover your eyes when it gets scary, okay?" He sat back down on the couch after dimming the lights. "Seriously, Cloud, this is a classic."

Cloud groaned. "Why do I have the feeling that every horror movie is a classic to you?" Zack slung an arm around his shoulders.

"Lighten up," he said mildly. Cloud stiffened and waited for him to take the arm away, but Zack kept his one-armed hug, pulling the boy comfortably against his side. Cloud relaxed, enjoying Zack's warmth and the feeling of being held. He felt safe and toasty inside.

Needless to say, when the movie got under way, he was not feeling safe anymore. Zack laughed at the most wrong moments, and when it got scary, he didn't say anything, because he didn't think it was frightening at all. Cloud was rigid with terror, and kept whimpering and hiding his face in Zack's chest. The SOLDIER didn't seem to mind, and even petted his hair lightly when it was obvious Cloud was about to have a fear-induced heart attack.

"Damn, that was good!" Zack crowed when the credits rolled by. He got no answer. "Cloud?" When he looked down at the boy, Zack saw that the blonde was fast asleep, leaning against his chest with a look of pure bliss on his face. The man felt his body stir and scowled, mentally ordering Little Zack down, boy. He switched off the TV and maneuvered himself and Cloud so they were lying horizontally on the couch, the blonde boy curled up to his chest.  _Aw, the kid's gonna kill me in the morning_ , was his last thought before he drifted off.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Cloud's first thoughts were that he felt warm and safe, which didn't happen often anymore. He sat up in bed, rubbing sleep from his eyes. His hand clipped the faded black eye and he hissed, the previous day flooding back to him. He looked around, reddening when he saw Zack's sleeping form on the couch beside him. The older man's arm was still slung over Cloud's waist loosely, and his black hair was mussed, falling around his face in soft spikes. Cloud pressed his hands gently to his face, trying to get rid of the heat in his cheeks. His heart was hammering unpleasantly.

Zack murmured something in his sleep and tightened his arm around his companion, pulling the small body against his. There was a cry of what sounded like pain and his eyes popped open and he flailed, slipping off the couch and onto the ground where he sat blearily, staring up at Cloud's shocked face.

"What? What?" he blurted, voice still thick with sleep.

"Oh my god," Cloud cried. "I didn't mean to—you just squeezed me and it still hurt from yesterday. I'm sorry! Are you okay?" He knelt stiffly next to Zack, who shook his head sharply to clear it.

"It's fine, I'm fine," he assured the boy, standing up and rubbing his ass discreetly to relieve the ache that had started when he hit the ground. "I'm sorry I hurt you—I didn't mean to—" Cloud was amazed to see a dull blush rise in Zack's cheeks. "I mean, last night, I just…I was tired and…I'm sorry I slept with you?" The last part came out in a rush.  _Smooth, Zackary._

Cloud grinned. "It's fine. We were both pretty zonked."

They both stood, Zack still feeling awkward. "Are you…hungry or anything?" he asked the blonde.

"I could eat," Cloud said with a smile, but his face drained of color when he caught sight of the clock. "Oh my god, I'm so late," he moaned, pulling his boots on as fast as his aching body would allow. "Shit, the sergeant is gonna ream me!" He cast a reproachful look at Zack, who was laughing at him. "What? It's not funny!"

Zack fought down his giggles. "I put you on the sick list yesterday, Chocobo-head. There's no way you can train if you feel as stiff as you look. Even with a Cure it takes a while for a non-augmented guy to bounce back."

Cloud stopped trying to pull on his boots. "Oh. Well, don't you have work?"

Zack winced. "Technically, yes?" He walked towards the small kitchenette and started rummaging through the fridge. "Do you like eggs?"

"Eggs?" Cloud nearly shrieked. "You're late for work! How can you think about  _eggs_?" Zack looked back at him, smirking, and Cloud realized how high-pitched his voice had sounded. He buried his face in his hands. "Never mind."

"I'll call in," Zack told him, cracking eggs into a bowl. "Seph totally owes me after I saved his ass a couple months ago by filling in for a mission. Scrambled okay?"

"Fine," Cloud said faintly, in awe of anyone who could call up the  _general_  for gods' sakes and tell him they were taking the day off. Zack had his phone cradled between ear and shoulder as he stirred egg and milk together.

"Seph? Hey, I'm taking a day off. Why? Because you owe me, you ass! Remember when I filled in for you that one time? Uh huh. Oh, come on." Zack poured the eggs into a pan on the stove. "Favors do not expire! Yeah, yeah, give me double paperwork tomorrow, whatever. Toodles, Sepphy." The older man glanced over to see Cloud staring at him with the biggest eyes he'd ever seen. "What?"

Cloud shook his head. "I'm just…not used to hearing anyone speak to a general like that," he said, unable to hide the awe in his voice.

Zack laughed. "I'll pay for calling him Sepphy later. I can get away with Seph, but he gets really cranky when I use what he calls 'cutesy names' for him. Order up, Cloudy. Can you grab the plates? They're in the cabinet."

Cloud obeyed, and they sat at the small table to eat.

"How are you feeling?" Zack asked kindly, after they'd eaten a few bites.

"Not too bad," Cloud hedged. "I could have gone to training, you know."

Zack pointed his fork at the boy. "One of the best qualities a SOLDIER can have is knowing when to quit, Chocobo-head."

"You know," Cloud said grumpily, "I don't think I agreed to this whole 'Chocobo-head' thing."

"Aww, but it's cute," Zack told him with a wink. "And it suits you."

"I can't help it, you know," Cloud said crossly. "Plus, look at your own hair!"

"This," Zack said, running a hand through his dark locks, "is what a beautiful flowing SOLDIER mane looks like, kiddo. Don't knock it."

Cloud rolled his eyes and finished eating.

They spent a lazy day together playing video games and talking, and Cloud was surprised at how comfortable he was spending time in a SOLDIER's quarters. Zack didn't have a superior air like most SOLDIERs did—in fact, he acted like Cloud's own age, tickling him to distract him from the racing game they were playing, making Cloud giggle and drop his controller. When Cloud accused him of cheating while Zack was taking a victory lap around his small living room, the older man merely paused to ruffle his hair.

"So," Zack began after several hours had passed, setting his controller aside. His violet eyes were serious for once. "Tell me about the bullies."

"W—what?" Cloud stammered.

"Come on, Cloud. I was checking for broken ribs yesterday and I saw what you're hiding under your shirt. We went over this, remember?" Zack's gentle voice had a hard edge.

Cloud looked down at his hands, which were twisting in his lap. "I'm small," he offered. "I don't look like I can hold my own, and yet I'm one of the best in my class. People don't like that."

Zack studied him, sensing he was holding something back. "It's me, isn't it," he said softly. Cloud continued to avoid meeting his eyes. "They don't like that I'm friends with you, right?" Zack put his head in his hands. "Gods, I'm so stupid."

"No, you're not," Cloud retorted. "It's not that—they just…" He trailed off, unsure of what to say. Zack was right, after all.

The brunet dragged his hands over his face. "All those times I came and visited you in front of all your classmates…it just made it worse, didn't it?" He was cursing himself for being so self-absorbed that he had forgotten how brutal it was being a cadet.

"It's not your fault," Cloud said quietly. "They did it before I met you too. The only thing that's changed is…what they say." This was a white lie, but Cloud wasn't about to tell Zack that he had been attacked at least three times a week since Zack had started hanging around him. None of the beatings had been as bad as the one the day before.

"It is," Zack insisted. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I'll try to be less…effusive."

Cloud looked up at him. "No more visits?"

"No more visits," Zack assured him, but was a little unsettled to see what looked like dismay in Cloud's face. "We'll still hang out," he told the boy. "Just not in front of your classmates." He ruffled Cloud's hair with a grin. Cloud ducked away from him, batting at his hand.

"I should get back," the boy said regretfully. "I want to get more sleep before I have to train again tomorrow." He stood and stretched with a groan, feeling his ribs and back pull uncomfortably, the bruises that littered his skin aching.

"Sure," Zack said easily, walking him to the door. Cloud tugged on his combat boots and turned to look up at his friend.

"I…thank you, you know, for…everything," he said, shifting uncomfortably. Zack smiled at him.

"What are friends for, Chocobo-head?" He moved to clap Cloud on the shoulder and remembered his injuries. "Oops. Sorry. You think you'll be up for training on Monday?"

Cloud nodded. "Wouldn't miss it." He turned to leave with a little wave.

Zack watched him go, feeling the familiar warmth that usually had something to do with his young friend seep through him. It wasn't until Cloud turned the corner that Zack realized he had been staring at the younger boy's ass. He groaned, the back of his head thumping against the wall, and thanked every deity he knew that no one else was in the hallway. Shinra military wasn't overtly homophobic, meaning he couldn't get kicked out for crushing on a guy, but being attracted to the same sex was not something you advertised if you knew what was good for you. Zack stepped back into his quarters again and leaned against the closed door. "Gods, I'm pathetic," he murmured.

* * *

Monday rolled around, and Cloud was pleased to find all of his aches gone, and all the bruises faded thanks to Zack's Cure spell. By the end of the day, his body was aching again, but it was the pleasant ache of exercised muscles, not the dull pain of bruised bones.

Zack met him that evening in their usual practice room and unslung his broadsword from his back, leaning it against the wall. His usual cheeriness was somehow muted as he stripped down to his fatigues and black undershirt. He was quiet as they warmed up, and Cloud kept stealing glances at his older friend, noticing the crinkle of consternation between his eyes.

"Let's start with hand-to-hand," Zack offered finally, the first words he'd spoken since arriving. They fell into their stances, and Cloud tensed his muscles, waiting for the attack. Zack jabbed at him with his swift right hook, which Cloud blocked, countering with a punch of his own. The blows flew back and forth, but he could tell Zack was thinking about something else. His lack of attention became even more apparent when Cloud, using one of the throws Zack had taught him the week before, sent his older friend flying, forcing him to take a hasty breakfall on the hard wood of the training room. Even so, the wind was knocked out of him, and Zack lay there for a few seconds, catching his breath.

Cloud stood over him, folding his arms. "When even a cadet can take down a 1st class SOLDIER, then you know there's gotta be something wrong," he said dryly, offering Zack a hand. "What the hell's wrong with you today?"

Zack let the blonde pull him to his feet. "Sorry, I'm a little spacey today," he apologized.

Cloud snorted. "No shit."

Zack leaned against the wall. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something." He raked a hand through his sweaty hair. Cloud leaned against the wall next to him, waiting patiently. "I've been telling Sephiroth about you," Zack started.

"What? Why?" Cloud asked, shooting up straight.

"I have to," Zack told him. "Any time SOLDIERs have their eyes on someone as a potential recruit we have to give regular reports to the general."

Cloud was silent. He had guessed that Zack was scouting him for SOLDIER, but hadn't wanted to say anything unless he'd been wrong. "And?" he prompted, almost afraid to hear what Zack had to say next.

"I'm being deployed soon," Zack blurted. "For a few weeks, maybe. And there's a chance you'll be coming with me."

Again, Cloud was shell shocked. "Excuse me?" he said weakly.

"It'll give you a chance to see how SOLDIER operates. To see if you're cut out for it, how you handle situations, you know. You'd be under my supervision the whole time of course, but…well, it's a maybe. Seph said he wants to see how good you are before he signs off on the order."

Cloud's mind was working hard, trying to process everything Zack was telling him. He'd heard of cadets going on missions with their mentors before, but had no idea it would ever happen to him. "I…you think I'm good enough?" he asked, still awestruck.

Zack rubbed a hand over his face. "That's the thing," he admitted. "I'm  _not_  sure you're good enough—not yet, I mean. Any other mission I'd be fine with you coming along, but this one is supposed to be fairly dangerous. I don't want—I mean, I just worry. Sephiroth has the final word, though, and if he thinks you're ready, then there's not much I can do." His violet eyes raked over Cloud's form, taking in how his shoulders had started filling out, how his arms were becoming knotted with muscle from the rigorous extra training. "You really are good, you know," he said with a grin, and Cloud blushed with pleasure. "Seriously, you're really coming along. Of course, I'd expect no less form someone as badass as myself." Zack's chest swelled with pride as he laughed.

"I guess modesty isn't a quality that SOLDIER wants," Cloud muttered sulkily. Zack grabbed him in a headlock.

"Fuck modesty, man. I'm just being truthful," he chuckled, giving Cloud such a sharp noogie that the blonde's eyes watered. "Anyways, I've just had a lot on my mind…sorry I was so distracted."

Cloud broke the headlock and gasped for air. "It's fine," he croaked, rubbing his neck. "Watch it," he added accusingly. "Remember I don't have mako enhancements."

Zack winced. "I forget my own strength sometimes. You okay?"

"Fine," Cloud rasped. "Can we get back to training now? If the general is really going to be looking at my skills, I want to improve as much as possible."

Zack pulled down two dulled practice swords from the rack on the wall. "Have at it, kiddo."

 


	4. Chapter 4

"SOLDIER on deck!" the sergeant barked. Cloud dropped the block he had thrown up against his drilling partner's blow and snapped to attention, saluting in unison with his classmates.

"At ease," Zack said with his quick smile. "I need to borrow Cadet Strife."

Despite his pleasure at seeing Zack, a cold finger of fear brushed his spine as he felt his classmates look at him, hate rising in their eyes. He set his jaw and walked out of the training room after Zack. As soon as the heavy door shut behind them he jabbed his friend hard in the side.

"I thought you weren't gonna do that anymore, you ass!"

Zack rubbed his side. "I wasn't going to, honest! But it's for an actual real work reason this time!" He frowned a bit. "I kinda miss the Cloudy who wouldn't dare call a SOLDIER First Class an ass."

"Only the ones who  _are_  asses!"

There was a dry chuckle nearby and a cool voice said, "He's right enough, Zackary." Cloud spun, caught sight of a tall man with delicate, almost feminine features, bright green eyes, and impossibly long silver hair, and promptly fainted.

"Aw, shit," Zack said, catching him. "You were supposed to wait around the corner so I could warn him, Seph! Look what you did! Oh man, he's gonna be so embarrassed. You're his  _hero_."

General Sephiroth crouched beside the prone cadet and held an ammonia capsule under his nose. Cloud stirred, going white when he saw Sephiroth peering into his face with a concerned look in his eyes. He scrambled to his feet, accidentally catching Zack in the stomach with a flailing elbow.

"Ouch," the SOLDIER muttered, rubbing the spot. "Is it beat up Zack day today?"

"G-g-g-g-general Sephiroth, s-sir!" Cloud was stammering, giving a shaky salute. "I apologize for—I mean, please excu—"

"At ease, cadet," Sephiroth interrupted, and Cloud fell silent. "You needn't be so nervous."

"Remember when I told you about maybe taking you along on a mission a couple weeks ago?" Zack broke in. Cloud nodded.

"I've been watching you since then," Sephiroth told him. "And I agree with Commander Fair's judgment. Tomorrow, we are deploying to the Nibel mountains." He handed Cloud a thick file. "Read this. The information is highly classified, so I'm sure you know what will befall you should you share it with anyone."

Cloud took the file with a shaking hand. "Nibel mountains, sir?" he asked.

"That's correct. Why?"

"I…I'm from Nibelheim," Cloud replied, then felt silly. The general would have read his file; of course he knew where he was from.

"All the more reason for you to come," Sephiroth told him. "We'll need someone who knows the terrain and has the survival skills." He nodded to them both and swept away, leaving an openmouthed Cloud staring after him.

Zack grabbed his shoulders. "Don't hate me," he pleaded. "I told him to wait somewhere else so I could explain why I was pulling you out of class, but he's an ass sometimes!"

Cloud punched him on the shoulder, but it had very little force behind it. "I just can't believe I fainted," he groaned, covering his red face with his hands.

"Hey, at least you didn't puke all over his feet!" Zack reassured him. Cloud peeked through his fingers.

"Do you know someone who did that?"

Zack turned red himself. "Maybe?"

"Oh my god," Cloud said in a low voice. "You  _puked_ on the general? Why are you still alive?"

Zack laughed. "He's really not as scary as he seems. Well, in battle he is, but otherwise he's actually kinda shy."

"Speaking of battle, what was all that 'we' business about? Is he coming with us?"

Zack sobered. "Yeah. You'll understand more when you read the file, but long story short, we're after a branch of the Wutai crime syndicate who broke off and formed an ecoterrorist group. They're rumored to be hiding in the Nibel mountains."

"Is there any chance they could attack Nibelheim?" Cloud asked, his face tight with worry.

"There's always a chance. That's why sending a small, elite force, including the general, to wipe them out before they make any moves."

"What if I fuck something up?" Cloud asked, trembling slightly. "I shouldn't be along for something like this!"

"You're not gonna fuck up, Spiky. We don't have anyone in SOLDIER from Nibelheim—you're the only local, so we're gonna need you. I won't lie to you, it'll probably be dangerous, but you'll be fine. I'm gonna tell you this now, though." Zack paused, setting his hands on Cloud's shoulders and looking him in the eyes. "You have to promise me you'll obey everything I say, without question. Hesitation means dying in a situation like this. You're going to have to trust my judgment, and trust my experience. Understand?"

Cloud nodded. "Of course."

"Even if I tell you to leave me to die," Zack insisted. "Promise me."

Cloud looked down. It felt like a hand was squeezing his heart painfully. "Promise."  _This is part of what being a SOLDIER is about,_  he thought.  _Obeying orders._

Zack slapped him on the back in a friendly way. "Don't look so glum, Chocobo-head. I'm a tough cookie. It'll take a lot to bring me down, so don't worry too much."

* * *

Cloud read the mission file in Zack's quarters, away from any prying eyes in his own barracks. For the most part, it elaborated on what Zack had told him: part of Wutai's mafia had broken off and formed their own ecoterrorist group. There were photographs of the known members, and Cloud spent hours studying them, memorizing any physical attributes that stood out. One face in particular he spent longer on. Jian Tsai, the suspected leader, stared hatefully out from his picture, his eyes so cold that Cloud felt a chill race down his spine. He had black hair that was graying at the temples and a hard, lined face.

While he was reading, Zack was doing push-ups on the living room floor. Cloud kept glancing at his friend from the couch, the shifting of muscles in his arms and shoulders proving extremely distracting. He had to be on his two hundredth push-up by now, and the little gasps of exertion he kept making were going straight to Cloud's groin.

Uncomfortably, Cloud shifted a little, shaking his head violently to clear the dirty thoughts. He had gotten better at curbing his attraction toward the older man, but when he was distracted his body seemed to react on its own.  _At least I don't get hard when we spar anymore,_  he thought to himself ruefully. The first time  _that_  had happened Cloud had panicked so badly he'd felt nauseous and begged off continuing the session, telling Zack he felt sick. He'd rushed to the only place he ever had any privacy, the toilet, hard and aching as he spilled himself all over his hand after only two strokes, his mind filled with memory of Zack's hard-muscled body pressing against his back, one arm wrapped loosely around his neck to show him a headlock.

Cloud felt his face grow warm at the memory. In a barracks filled with teenage boys with raging hormones, it wasn't unusual to hear the telltale squeaking of bedsprings as someone stroked himself—everyone did it, even Cloud—but that was always at night, when everyone silently agreed to ignore any sounds of shifting, squeaking, or even quiet moaning. Cloud didn't even want to think of all the times he had jerked himself off thinking of Zack's pretty eyes, his soft-looking lips, and his tall, well-formed body. It made him ashamed just to admit to himself he fantasized about his older friend, especially when he knew Zack must have a girlfriend. No one as beautiful as Zack could be single for very long.

Thankfully, Zack's phone started to ring, jolting Cloud from his thoughts and halting Zack's distracting push-ups.

Zack pulled the device from his pocket, rolling over to sprawl on the ground. "Heya. Oh, hi Aerith. What's up?"

Cloud wondered if this was the elusive girlfriend he'd been thinking about not a minute before. The thought made his heart pound with jealousy, but he shoved the feeling down.

"I'm leaving in a couple days, actually. For a few weeks. Sorry, sweetheart. I can't say where. I doubt I'll have time to come visit before we leave, but I'll come by when I get back. Yep. See ya, doll."

He hung up, and Cloud looked over the file at him. "Girlfriend?"

Zack smiled fondly. "Nah, she's just a girl I met in the slums a couple years ago. We did date for a while, but there just wasn't a spark, I guess. She's sweet as hell and I love her to death, but we work out better as friends."

_Stop that,_  Cloud told his heart as it leapt in joy.

Zack leaned back on his hands. "It's been forever since I've dated anyone," he continued, half to himself. "It's not like you get a ton of free time when you're at my rank."

"Could've fooled me," Cloud retorted. Zack leapt up and pounced on him, tickling him furiously.

"You calling me lazy, Chocobo-head?"

"Stop!" Cloud shrieked through a fit of giggles, shoving at Zack's sweaty chest. Relentlessly, Zack tickled him until he was squirming and gasping, and then all of a sudden, pulled away sharply and sat back on his heels.

"You should go get some rest. Meet me here tomorrow at 0700 and we'll go together, okay? I'll requisition the gear you'll need."

Cloud nodded, a bit put off by Zack's quick switch to work-mode, but his friend gave him a little smile that reassured him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Spiky."

 


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning at precisely 0700, Cloud knocked on Zack's door, nervousness welling in the pit of his stomach to the point that he felt like he would throw up. When Zack didn't answer the door, the feeling intensified, and he turned the knob tentatively. It was unlocked, so he stepped inside to the darkened, quiet living room.

"Zack?" he called in a loud whisper, tiptoeing to the bedroom and pushing open the door. Sure enough, the SOLDIER was sprawled on his bed, the covers twisted around his legs, snoring gently. Cloud reddened at the sight of his friend dressed only in a pair of black boxers and undershirt but refused to let his eyes wander. Instead, he moved a bit closer, though still out of arm's reach, and inhaled sharply. "ZACK!" he shouted.

"WHAT?!" Zack all but shrieked, jerking awake and falling off the bed. Cloud sighed. He'd never seen anyone wake up quite like Zack did.

"Why didn't you set an alarm?" he asked his friend. "It's 0700 already."

"Shit, really? No way, it's earlier than—" Zack had picked himself up from the ground and glanced at his phone on the bedside table. "Aw, fuck! I must've forgotten to set my alarm." He started stripping off his tank top as he moved towards the bathroom. "Give me two minutes!" he called after himself, and Cloud heard the shower start.

When he'd washed quickly, Zack dressed in his SOLDIER uniform, deftly handling the hidden buckles and zippers with practiced hands. Under his armor he added the woolen layers Sephiroth had given him. "Spiky!" he called, and Cloud wandered back in.

"Wha—mmf!" A bundle of clothing hit him in the face.

"Put those on. It's gonna be cold, but I guess you know that."

Cloud pulled on the clothing over his cadet uniform, and Zack helped him strap a sword to his back.

"Feeling okay? Or are you nervous at all?" the older man asked kindly.

"I feel like I'm gonna puke," Cloud admitted. "I couldn't eat breakfast."

Zack laughed and walked into his kitchen, rummaging through the cabinets and tossing a pack of crackers to Cloud. "Yep, that's pretty much how I felt before my first mission. Try to eat those, though. Trust me, you'll feel worse in a few hours if you don't eat anything."

Cloud nibbled the crackers, watching in awe as Zack lifted the enormous Buster sword that was leaning against the wall and settled it onto the magnetic sheath on his back. It was the first time he'd seen the sword handled since their first day of training together; when they sparred, Zack used a smaller broadsword so as not to overwhelm him, and there was usually no need to carry such an enormous weapon around the training area. Cloud knew from experience how heavy it was, though. After their first training session, when Zack had let him try to lift it, Cloud specifically started strengthening his arms more, and several weeks later Zack had let him try to lift it once more. It had seemed almost heavier than before, and Zack had collapsed in a fit of giggles when Cloud had barely been able to raise it from the ground, but now the SOLDIER was handling it as though it weighed as much as a feather. Cloud couldn't wait to see it in action.

"Ready?" Zack asked. "Seph will  _kill_  me if I'm late again."

"You would have been late if it hadn't been for me," Cloud said smugly as they left at a jog.

"Yeah, yeah," Zack muttered, rolling his eyes. "You're a brat." They left the building and crossed the outside training yards to the small airship where Sephiroth was waiting, dressed in similar warm clothing.

"You're on time, for once, Zackary," the general said dryly.

"Shut up, Seph," Zack said sulkily. "Cloud's smug enough."

The general turned to Cloud. "I take it you had to wake him?"

"Yes, sir," Cloud managed to say, still overwhelmed by his hero's presence.

"You have my thanks. Zack is still much like a puppy, even as an adult."

"Sir?" Cloud asked, bewildered, as Zack's mouth dropped open.

"You didn't! Seph, don't tell him about that!"

"What?" Cloud asked, still confused. Sephiroth gave a faint smile.

"Zack's old mentor, Angeal, used to say he was like a puppy—excitable, cheerful, always moving. It became a nickname of sorts."

"Seph, you are  _such_  an asshole," Zack groaned, covering his face with his hands. Cloud bit his lip to keep from smiling.

"We should go," Sephiroth said. "The rest of the company is already on board." They boarded the airship, and Cloud silently prayed for a smooth journey that wouldn't aggravate his motion sickness. He was queasy enough already.

Two other SOLDIERs were standing in the cabin. They both saluted Zack and Sephiroth.

"Lieutenants Nygard and Ryan, sirs!"

"At ease," Sephiroth said dismissively. "Strap in, lieutenants."

"Yes, sir!"

The general turned to Zack and Cloud. "You two as well."

Zack helped Cloud with the complicated straps that crossed over his chest to hold him in the seat, and again Cloud hoped he wouldn't need to vomit once they were airborne.

Lieutenant Ryan leaned across the space between their seats. "You're the cadet?" he asked Cloud over the sudden whir of the engines.

"Yes, Lieutenant. Cloud Strife, sir."

"How old are you? You're mighty small to enlist."

"Seventeen, sir. I'm just small for my age."

"You're  _seventeen_?" Zack interrupted. "No way, Spiky!"

Cloud shot him a withering look, and Sephiroth gave a little chuckle. "It's true, Zackary. I've seen his file."

Zack whistled. "Could've fooled me."

Ryan laughed. "This your first mission?" he asked Cloud.

"Yes, sir." The ground lurched away and Cloud felt his stomach go with it. He took a deep breath, fighting down nausea as they lifted into the air and began flying towards the Nibel mountains.

"Don't be nervous. We'll take care of you," Nygard said, speaking up for the first time. His voice was soft and gentle, his dark eyes kind. "If you're allowed to come along on a classified mission like this, you have to be damn good, and bound for SOLDIER. We don't want to kill any promising recruits."

"Yes, sir," Cloud managed with a strained smile. Sephiroth noticed his discomfort.

"Are you all right, cadet? You're looking rather…green."

"Motion sickness, sir," Cloud gasped out, struggling to control the sick feeling in his stomach.

"If you must vomit, do it in one of the toilets. That way," Sephiroth told him, jerking a chin towards the back of the ship.

"Yes, sir," Cloud said again, his fingers fumbling with his straps. "I'm sorry, sir."

"It's quite all right," Sephiroth told him as Zack reached over and helped him out of the bindings.

"Excuse me," Cloud managed to gasp before he was sprinting to the ship's bathrooms, falling to his knees in front of the nearest toilet. He heaved, the burning taste of bile erupting in the back of his throat.

Back in the cabin, Sephiroth sighed. "Go check on him, Zack."

Zack obeyed, unbuckling himself and slipping into the bathroom. He knelt beside the retching boy, rubbing his back soothingly. "Get it all out, Spiky." Since the only thing he'd eaten was the crackers, there wasn't much to vomit up, just partially digested cracker and stomach acid, but he still kept gagging and heaving.

Cloud groaned as the last of the bile left his mouth and he sat back against the wall, wiping watering eyes. Zack left briefly and returned with a paper cup of water and he drank gratefully, rinsing out his mouth and spitting into the toilet before flushing it.

"Why didn't you tell me you get so sick?" Zack asked, still rubbing his back in slow, soft circles.

"I thought I'd grown out of it," Cloud said with a moan, holding his stomach. "Gaia, it feels like I'm dying."

Zack chuckled quietly at his histrionics. He coaxed Cloud down into a lying position so the boy was curled on his side, his head in Zack's lap, and the SOLDIER ran his fingers through the soft blond spikes in long, slow strokes.

Cloud kept clutching his stomach against waves of nausea, so miserable he couldn't even feel embarrassed for lying with his head in his superior's lap. Zack's strong, calloused hands were surprisingly gentle, and the repetitive motion of fingers dragging through his hair was making him feel content and sleepy.

Zack heard his breathing even out but didn't stop his motions. His legs were cramping a little from the position but he held still, daring to drag a finger over Cloud's jawline. The door to the bathroom opened, and he jerked his hand back.

"How is he?" Sephiroth asked, raising an eyebrow at their position. Zack blushed a little.

"He's sleeping. Seph, I…"

Sephiroth gave his head a little jerk, almost like a spasm. "I don't want to know, Zackary. Just remember, if you take advantage of him in any way, even my influence would not be enough to keep you from prison."

"Do you really think I'd do something like that?" Zack asked, his voice tinged with fury. He fought to keep it down so as not to wake Cloud.

"Not intentionally, no," Sephiroth answered coolly. "He may be over the age of consent, but you're still his superior. You're very charming, Zackary—it wouldn't be a stretch for some to think you capable of coercing him. People would talk, saying you ordered him to grant you sexual favors, accuse you of quid pro quo, the list is endless. All I ask is that you think about what you're doing."

"I'm not  _doing_  anything," Zack bit out. His hands were trembling from anger. "I haven't touched him in any inappropriate way, I swear! I don't even know if he's into that stuff!" He looked down at the boy in his lap. "This really isn't the place to talk about this, Seph."

The general nodded. "I trust you, Zack. I just want you to be careful." His silver head disappeared.

Zack leaned his head back against the wall, frowning to himself. Sephiroth's words kept replaying in his head, and as much as he hated to admit it, the general was right. If he pursued a relationship with Cloud, both SOLDIERs and the other cadets would tear him to pieces, and possibly court-martial Zack for coercion.  _Would it be the same if Cloud was the one who pursued?_  Zack wondered, then shook his head with a grin. Even if Cloud possibly liked men  _and_  liked Zack, the boy was much too shy to make the first move.

"I guess I'm fucked when it comes to you, Spiky, and not in the good way," Zack told the sleeping cadet. Cloud stirred a little at the sound of his voice, his fingers curling around the fabric of Zack's pants.  _Gaia, he's way too cute for his own good_. To distract himself and prevent a possible hard-on, Zack pulled out his phone to check the time, relieved that it was nearly time to land. He shook Cloud's shoulder gently. "Wake up, Cloudy."

For a brief moment Cloud snuggled closer, then seemed to realize whose leg he was rubbing his cheek against. He came awake and sat up, blinking. "Zack?" He looked around. "I fell asleep in the  _bathroom_? You  _let_  me fall asleep in the bathroom?" The airship chose that moment to tilt alarmingly, and Cloud clapped a hand over his mouth. "Oh, gods." The words were muffled. "Are we crashing and dying?"

Zack laughed. "No, but we are almost there. Think you can sit back in your seat without hurling all over me?"

"I guess we'll find out," Cloud said, getting to his feet. He was pale and drawn, but steady on his feet. Zack rose too, shaking out his tingling legs. "Sorry for…sleeping on you," the cadet muttered with a fierce blush.

"Hey, if it keeps you from puking, sleep on me all you want," Zack told him, then winced.  _Ooh, good one, Fair. And right after that talk with Seph, too._   _Will I ever learn to keep my mouth shut?_ Cloud just gave him a withering look and left the bathroom, taking his seat and buckling himself in. Zack followed suit, leaning back with a little sigh. Nygard leaned over to them.

"You feeling okay?" he asked Cloud. "You still look a bit peaky."

"I'll be fine, thank you, Lieutenant."

Ryan was silent, but he was studying Zack with a calculating gaze very different from his friendly demeanor at the beginning of the ride. Zack returned the look, narrowing his eyes a bit.

"You were in there a long time," Ryan said at last. Zack opened his mouth to put the 2nd class in his place, but Sephiroth beat him to it.

"I explained the situation to you before, Ryan. Mind your own business. We're nearly there."

"Yes, sir," Ryan said obediently, but his gaze slid to Cloud, then back to Zack, and he gave a sly smirk.

The airship touched down with a lurch and they disembarked. Cloud looked up at the Nibel mountain range, a fond feeling of familiarity. They had landed at a small village several miles south of Nibelheim that he recognized from his wanderings as a child.

A thought came to him, and Cloud tugged on Zack's sleeve. The SOLDIER turned. "Won't they see the airship and know we're coming?"

Zack pointed to the supply company logo on the side of the ship. "They'll think the town's just getting supplies. We'll hike up into the mountains from here and find a place to camp before we start looking for them."

Cloud nodded, accepting the pack Zack handed to him and settling it over his shoulders. He knew it must be lighter than what the mako-enhanced SOLDIERs were carrying, but even so, his back started to ache almost immediately.

The hike up the mountain was difficult too, which Cloud had not anticipated. Although he was stronger than he'd been when he left Nibelheim, the constant uphill toil overworked muscles he hadn't used in a long time, and his calves started cramping painfully. He gritted his teeth, refusing to complain, but found himself wishing he'd had mako injections. The SOLDIERs, except for Sephiroth, were sweating too, but they weren't gasping for air like he was.

"Doing okay, Spiky?" came Zack's voice behind him. Cloud nodded, not trusting himself to find the breath to speak. At the front of the line, Sephiroth paused to consult the map he was carrying.

"Cadet Strife," he called. "Come here." Cloud trudged past Nygard and Ryan to the general's side, happy to have a chance to rest for a bit. Sephiroth handed him the map. "Are you familiar with this route?"

"Not this one specifically, but I know this one," Cloud told the general, tracing a path that branched off from the one they were on. "There should be an overhang that's good for camping under about here, and it's partially hidden from the path." He handed the map back to Sephiroth, but the general shook his head.

"You know the way, cadet."

Cloud nodded, saluting, and Sephiroth's lips twitched a little.

"Generally, on missions, particularly highly sensitive stealth ones such as this, we are more lax about formalities. You needn't salute me."

Cloud flushed a little. "Yes, sir," he mumbled, starting to walk again. The wind was picking up, screaming around his ears, and he pulled up the hood of his coat, drawing it tight. The campsite was only about three-quarters of a mile from where they were, but it was steep and treacherous, winding along the edge of the mountain. "Stay away from the edge, sir," Cloud told the general. "It's weak, and it'll break off if you put too much weight on it." Sephiroth nodded, passing the message back to the SOLDIERs.

Cloud saw a familiar large rock formation loom up and he pressed forward, veering off the path to step behind it. "It's here," he called. The formation was blocking a good-sized overhang from the path. It was an ideal camping spot away from prying eyes, even if the ground was hard rock and not easy to sleep on.

"This is good," Sephiroth commented. They unslung the packs they carried from sore shoulders, setting them on the rocky ground. "Zack, you and Strife start setting up the tents. Nygard and Ryan, find us some firewood. Don't stray far, and take a map."

Zack dug in his pack, producing three tents. He and Cloud started to put them up, side by side, against the wall of rock to shelter them from wind. "Shit," Zack muttered. "The ground's rock; we can't stake the tents down."

"There's a boulder pile over there," Cloud told him, pointing. "Can we just weigh down the corners?"

"Guess we'll have to," Zack grunted, raising one of the tents. "Here, you do this. I can carry heavier rocks."

"Not too big!" Cloud called after him. "We need to fit in the tents, you know!"

"Who do you think I am, Spiky?" Zack's voice floated back to him. He reappeared, several good-sized boulders in his arms. "These'll work." They weighted down the tents, finishing as Nygard and Ryan reappeared, arms full of firewood. Sephiroth looked up from the papers he'd been studying.

"Go ahead and build a fire," he ordered. "It's getting dark, and we'll want an early start tomorrow. Keep it low; we don't want to be discovered."

Cloud built the fire since he was the most well-versed in the task, and Zack sent a stream of heat from his Fire materia onto the damp wood, making sure it was bone-dry before lighting it. They settled around it, eating field rations and talking as night fell. As the moon climbed higher and higher, one by one they retired to the tents until Cloud was the only one left at the fire. His impromptu nap on the airship meant he wasn't sleepy now, despite the hard hike earlier.

"Hey," came a voice.

Cloud looked up into Ryan's face. "Lieutenant," he said, surprised. "I thought you went to bed."

Ryan came closer, crouching down next to him. "I was, but I wanted to talk to you some first. You're from around here, right?"

Cloud nodded. "Nibelheim, sir."

"Call me Jaz, Cloud." Ryan's voice was soft, like velvet. "There's no need for formalities, remember?"

Cloud shifted a couple inches away from the lieutenant. "I don't…" he began.

Ryan caught his wrist, his pale green eyes boring into Cloud's. He was a big man, nearly as big as Zack, and his fingers went all the way around the cadet's wrist. "Come on," he purred.

"You're making me uncomfortable," Cloud told him honestly, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

Ryan rubbed his free hand over his short brown hair. His eyes were colder now, and his hand started to move up Cloud's arm. "Am I? Listen to me, Strife. You may think you're hot Nibelheim ass, but if you think fucking a commander send you through the ranks faster, think again."

" _What?_ " Cloud whispered fiercely, forgetting to be polite. "I am  _not_  having sex with Zack!" He jerked his arm free. The fire had burned down to coals, and he shivered, though he wasn't sure it was all from the lack of warmth.

Ryan smirked at him. "Whether you are or aren't, one word from me to the right people and Fair gets court-martialed. Is that what you want?"

"No! Why would you say that?"

In a flash, Cloud's back was pressed against Ryan's chest, the big man whispering in his ear. Cloud recoiled, but knew he would never get free unless Ryan let him. "You're pretty," the man was breathing. "And even if Fair  _has_  had your ass before, I could be…persuaded to keep quiet about it."

Cloud struggled, remembering how friendly Ryan had been to him on the airship and feeling slightly sick. "I thought you were actually a good person," he bit out.

Ryan laughed softly. "Watch yourself, cadet. I still outrank you. I can make your life hell if I want." He finally let the boy go, stepping back. "Think about what I said."

 


	6. Chapter 6

Several minutes after Ryan had disappeared into the tent he shared with Nygard, Cloud remained by the fire, shoving down panic. He had no doubt Ryan could make good on his word, and the thought of Zack being court-martialed for a crime he hadn't committed was unbearable. Cloud went to the tent he was sharing with Zack and stepped inside, his heart heavy. He stripped off his many layers of clothing until he was in his boxers and undershirt, shivering as he crawled into his bedroll. The tents were narrow, barely fitting two people, and he jostled Zack's sleeping form slightly by accident while he was getting comfortable.

Zack stirred. "Spiky?" His voice was thick with sleep.

"Yeah, it's me," Cloud said, cursing silently to himself.  _Now he wakes up easily, of course_.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just wasn't tired because of my nap."

Zack propped his head up on one arm, the moonlight from outside falling through the mesh strip in the tent's ceiling and illuminating his face, now fully awake. His hair was more mussed than usual, his eyes still sleepy, and there was a little smile on his face. Cloud felt his heart lurch.

"Sorry I woke you," he whispered.

"Nah, it's all good," Zack told him softly. "You nervous about tomorrow?"

"A little," Cloud admitted. "I'm still worried I'll screw up and give away our position."

Zack gave a little laugh. "Cloud, if our position is given away, it won't be you who does it. You grew up here. I have no doubt that you can run all over these mountains without even shifting a stone out of place if you wanted."

"I don't know about that," Cloud said with a smile. "But did I tell you about the time I fought with a Nibel wolf?"

"No way! Those things are huge!" Zack breathed. "You're pulling my leg, Spiky."

"No, honest. Once when I was thirteen, I was hiking near the mako reactor on Mt. Nibel and I accidentally came upon these wolf pups. They were adorable, and one actually came up to me, so like an idiot, I started to play with it." Cloud chuckled. "I was letting it chase me and nip at my feet when I ran smack into its mother."

"Oh, shit!" Zack exclaimed, grinning. "What'd you do?"

"Pissed my pants, if I'm telling the truth," Cloud said with a laugh. "All I had was my hunting knife, which would work to kill a Nibel wolf if you don't mind also dying." He sat up suddenly, and Zack swallowed hard as Cloud stuck a leg out of his bedroll. His pale skin glowed in the moonlight, and Zack stared at the smooth-looking skin, his mouth slightly open, until he realized Cloud was still talking. "See this scar?" the blond was saying, pointing to a semicircle of scar tissue on the outer part of his upper thigh.

"Yeah," Zack croaked. The sight of Cloud's strong, well-shaped legs making him embarrassingly hard and he was thankful the thick material of his bedroll hid it.

"The wolf grabbed me here. I thought I'd faint, it hurt so bad, but I got my knife free and got a few hits in, making it let go. Of course, now it's mad as hell. I'm thinking it's my last day on Gaia's green earth, I'm praying to every god you can  _think_ of, and I'm backing away when I bump into one of those stunted little trees that grows on the mountain." Cloud finally slid his leg back into the bedroll to get warm again. "I've never climbed a tree so fast in my life, even though my leg was killing me."

"So you didn't kill it?"

"No, I was way too little to do that. What I did was sit in the tree for  _hours_ , my leg bleeding and my pants full of piss, until my mom got worried enough to send out search parties. The whole time I was up in that tree, the wolf was just  _sitting_ there, this look in its eyes, like it knew I'd have to come down sometime." Cloud rolled on his side to smile at Zack.

"They didn't kill it, did they?" Zack asked.

Cloud shook his head. "The men from the village chased it and its pups off, but I was too cold and had lost too much blood to get down from the tree, so one of the men had to climb up and get me down."

"Wow," Zack breathed. "I don't have any stories about Gongaga that even come close to that. You were badass even as a thirteen-year-old, Cloudy."

Cloud snorted with laughter. "If pissing your pants is badass, yeah, I was."

Zack grinned. "Anyone else would have pissed their pants  _and_  gotten eaten."

"We should probably sleep," Cloud said regretfully.

"Yeah," Zack sighed. "Have fun waking me up in the morning."

"You're the SOLDIER!" Cloud hissed back. "Wake yourself up!"

"I order you to wake me up tomorrow morning, cadet," Zack said, a grin in his voice.

"I hate you," Cloud muttered, wriggling around to get comfortable.

Zack lay awake a bit longer, listening to Cloud's even breathing and staring up at the darkened roof of the tent. He was trying to ignore the throbbing in his groin that had been there since Cloud had showed him the scar on his thigh.  _I'm pathetic,_  he thought to himself, not for the first time.  _Since when did the sight of a bare leg get me hard? Not since I was fifteen, at least._   _Gods be damned, Fair, this is what happens when you don't have sex for a really long-ass time!_

Belatedly, Zack realized one of his hands was tracing the muscles on his stomach under his shirt, moving lower and lower.  _Stop it, Zack,_  he told himself, but his erection gave a sharp throb and he bit back a groan. He glanced over at the back of Cloud's head.

"Cloud?" he whispered. No answer. The cadet was definitely asleep, but Zack continued to wrestle with his thoughts, the fingers of one hand resting under the waistband of his boxers, stroking the skin right above his cock.  _Think of awful things, Zack. Hojo in a bikini. President Shinra in a bikini. Cloud, completely naked and spread out on your bed._ "Fuck!" Zack whispered quietly. He moved the hand lower, curling it around his rock hard length. With his other hand, he pulled his shirt up, stuffing it into his mouth to muffle any sounds. He glanced over quickly to make sure Cloud was still asleep and started to stroke, letting out a muffled breath in a quiet moan. Heat pooled in his lower belly and he struggled to keep quiet as he brushed a thumb over the head of his cock, a little jolt of pleasure rushing through his body.

Zack closed his eyes, panting a little as he increased his pace, alternating squeezing and stroking. He could feel his muscles tensing, and fluid was dribbling from the tip of his cock. Swiping a thumb over the head again, he collected the liquid and slicked it down his shaft. The extra lubrication almost made Zack yelp, but he bit down on his shirt hard, his free hand jumping to one of his nipples. He pinched it a little between thumb and forefinger, twisting slightly, and the twinge of pain amplified the pressure in his groin. With a groan that was loud even through the shirt, Zack came hard, his back arching, his muscles straining, painting his hard stomach with cum. The shirt fell from his unclenched teeth and he lay there panting, limbs leaden from the orgasm. When he had enough strength to turn his head he checked to make sure his groan hadn't woken Cloud, but the blond head was still in the same position, the boy's shoulders rising and falling in a gentle rhythm.

A sick feeling of guilt was growing in Zack's stomach like it always did when he jerked off to thoughts of Cloud. Finding out his young friend was legal hadn't helped alleviate it, and once again, Zack remembered what Sephiroth had said and ground his teeth together hard. He used the underside of his shirt to clean off his stomach and hand, turning on his side to face Cloud's sleeping back. He let out a breath in a sigh, eyelids growing heavy. His mind was filled with thoughts of the young cadet: Cloud laughing, clutching his sides when Zack told a particularly bad joke; Cloud blushing, his pretty cheeks rosy and his eyes clear and blue; Cloud panting after a sparring session, face smudged with dirt and sweat; Cloud's face tight and determined as he drilled sword passes;  _Cloud_. Zack gave a little moan.  _Ramuh strike me, I think I love you, Chocobo-head._

His sleep, when it finally came, was fitful and unsatisfying.

Cloud woke at dawn like he always did. Military training had done wonders for his internal clock, and he often found it difficult to sleep in even if he was able. Still, he lay in his bedroll for a few moments, stretching his arms above his head to loosen his stiff muscles. As he shifted, an unpleasant feeling nearly made him groan aloud, and he reached a hand down under his covers, making contact with the front of his boxers, which was sticky and damp. He wasn't unfamiliar with wet dreams, of course, but the timing made him swear. As if his damp boxers weren't bad enough, his morning wood was straining against them as well, and Cloud let his head thump back onto the pack he was using as a pillow.  _There's no way I'm jerking off in the light of day,_  he thought to himself. Fortunately, Ryan's words from the night before came flooding back to him right then, and his erection softened almost immediately.  _Thank Gaia._

He wriggled out of his boxers while still inside the bedroll and used them to clean himself off, stuffing them into his pack and pulling on a clean pair. He dressed quickly—the cold forced him to—trying to force the blush from his cheeks and refusing to look at Zack's sleeping form until he had to.

When he was dressed in his warm clothes, Cloud nudged Zack with one foot. "Wake up, Zack."

The SOLDIER rolled over with a groan, and Cloud nudged harder. "Okay, okay, I'm up," Zack said blearily, batting away the cadet's foot. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, which were red and tired.

"You look awful," Cloud commented.

"Thanks ever so much."

"No, seriously. You feel okay?"

Zack blinked a few times. His eyelids felt like sandpaper. "I'm fine; I just didn't sleep well."

"Okay," Cloud said doubtfully. "I'll let you get dressed. Don't you  _dare_  go back to sleep."

"Slave driver."

Cloud laughed and ducked out of the tent, squinting in the morning light. He'd also forgotten how bright the Nibel mountains were in the morning. The sun reflected off the snow and made spots dance in front of his eyes. When they cleared, he saw that Sephiroth and the lieutenants were already up and sitting at the fire eating.

Sephiroth looked up as he approached. "Good, you're up."

"Am I…late?"

"No, but Zackary will be if he's not out here in three seconds," the general said, pitching his voice a little.

"I'm up!" came Zack's muffled voice from his tent, and a second later he stumbled out, adjusting his SOLDIER armor and trying to tame his spiky hair.

"It astonishes me how you reached the rank of commander sometimes," Sephiroth said dryly. Zack stuck out his tongue. "I will rip that out," the general continued calmly, and Zack retracted his tongue quickly.

The SOLDIER settled himself at the small fire next to Cloud and accepted some rations from Nygard. "Are we heading out soon?"

Sephiroth nodded, spreading the map out on his knees. "This is where it is suspected that the group has its temporary headquarters," he said, pointing to a red X on the map. "We'll do some recon today and scout out the spot to make sure they're actually there. Zack, you and Cadet Strife will take this path and approach from the east, Nygard and Ryan take this one from the west, and I will head straight in. Stealth is a priority, understand? You are to scout and recover information, and  _nothing more_. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," they all said.

"If I plan to attack, I will send up a red flare. You are to send up a red flare if your location is compromised and for no other reason. Use your judgment. If you are compromised and are able to neutralize the enemy before they can contact their comrades, do not send up the flare. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Pack some emergency kits and get going."

Cloud and Nygard broke camp as Zack packed his and Cloud's emergency kits, and before long the five of them were splitting up into three groups, wishing each other luck with shoulder slaps and words of encouragement. Cloud was relieved that Ryan didn't try to touch him, but the smirk on the other man's face was bad enough. He set off on the path behind Zack with a heavy heart, struggling between worrying about Ryan's threat and knowing that being distracted could get both him and Zack killed. Zack himself was being uncharacteristically quiet, but considering the nature of their mission, that wasn't unusual.  _He may be kind of lazy and act like a kid half the time, but he actually takes being a SOLDIER seriously when it's important,_  Cloud thought to himself with a smile.

"Spike, come here," Zack said softly then, beckoning. He was studying the map. "I was always shit at reading these. Are we on the right track?"

Cloud took the map and looked between it and the landscape. "Yeah," he said. "See this river? The camp is supposed to be about a mile from its falls. I think our best shot is to follow the river until we reach the cliff next to the falls. There might be a goat track up the cliff, but we also might have to scale it."

"Scaling a cliff with a Buster sword will be fun," Zack muttered. "But I trust you. If you say this is the best way, it probably is. How long till we reach the river?"

"About half a mile, and then we follow it for two more until we get to the falls." Cloud took the lead while Zack kept watch from the rear, his sharp eyes scanning the crags and cliffs surrounding them for enemies. They reached the river, a wide, rushing body of icy death that wound through the mountains. Cloud glanced into the white, foaming depths and shuddered. It was cold enough outside that a wet plunge would likely result in hypothermia, particularly for someone like Zack, who was unused to the frigid temperatures.

He let Zack lead now since they were just following the river, the rushing of the water muffling any sounds of their footsteps. They passed several caves on the other side of the riverbank, their mouths nearly obscured by the thick drifts of snow.

"There's the falls," Zack said finally, pointing. Cloud nodded.

"I can see a path up the cliff. It'll be steep, but it's better than climbing."

"Oh, good," Zack muttered. He hated heights, but at least they didn't make him vomit like Cloud's motion sickness did. "I should go first," he told Cloud as they approached the foot of the cliff. "We don't know what's at the top."

Cloud nodded. "Just watch for patches of ice."

The goat track was steep enough that it was nearly like climbing anyways, but to Zack's relief the ragged surface of the stone had plenty of handholds, and the going was relatively painless. He made sure to test each spot before placing a foot, not keen on slipping and falling. The cliff was small enough that even Cloud might have survived a tumble, but it wasn't something he wanted to risk.

With a grunt, Zack heaved himself up the last few feet, rolling onto the top of the cliff and springing to his feet. Cloud pulled himself up behind him and they crept forward, feeling exposed.

They hadn't gone more than twenty feet when Cloud heard Zack say, "Oh, shit!" He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong and his friend tackled him roughly to the ground, driving the wind from him. They rolled, Cloud wondering briefly if Zack had been hit with a Confuse spell, but the ground was rumbling, telling him it was something else. He gasped for breath as they rolled over and over, coming to rest at the edge of the cliff by the waterfall. An explosion cracked through the air and the ground shook alarmingly. Zack pressed him down into the snow, shielding him with his body, and peering under his arm, Cloud saw a rippling sheet of flame flare up where they had been standing moments ago. Debris soared through the air, one jagged chunk of rock scoring a bloody line down Zack's cheek.

"Fuck," the SOLDIER was saying. "There's no way they missed that at the camp."

"What was it?" Cloud gasped, finally catching his breath.

"Proximity mine," Zack said. "Probably to safeguard against intruders. Damn it! I should've been watching more closely." He got to his feet, pulling Cloud up by the hand. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. And you  _were_  watching closely. If you hadn't we'd be blown to bits."

Zack unslung his emergency pack and handed it to Cloud. "Hold that," he ordered, unsheathing the Buster sword. "Here they come."

Sure enough, figures were emerging from the rocks not far away. Their black hair and dark, slanted eyes told Cloud they were Wutaiian, but he didn't recognize any of them from the pictures in the file.

Gunfire sounded and Zack shoved Cloud behind him, spinning the Buster sword to fend off the bullets. "Send up the flare!" he shouted. "They know we're here by now." Cloud hurried to obey, pulling the flare gun from Zack's bag and loading it.

Zack heard the whistling of the flare as it was fired and braced himself, sword at the ready. Three swordsmen had broken off from the group in front of him and were closing in. He waited until they were within range and then swung the Buster sword in a shining arc, cleaving one of the swordsmen in half with a single blow. He reversed his arm as another struck, blocking the enemy blade and kicking him in the chest hard enough to collapse it if the wet sucking sound was any hint. The remaining man faltered, seeing Zack's unsmiling face and his hard violet eyes, but the SOLDIER knew that his Wutaiian pride wouldn't let him back down. Sure enough the man charged him with a yell, raising his sword for a blow that would have cut open Zack's belly if it had landed. Instead, he spun, kicking the man's sword from his hand and beheading him in a quick movement. He had barely broken a sweat.

There was a whistling sound and Zack looked up, frowning. Cloud had already sent up the flare, so it couldn't be that. Sure enough, his sharp eyes picked out a grenade that had been thrown by one of the terrorists soaring towards them. Zack readied the sword in his hands, taking a step back to brace himself.

The weak rim of the cliff broke under his heavy-soled boot. Zack lost his footing, knocking into Cloud and sending them both tumbling over the edge towards the rushing river below.

 


	7. Chapter 7

While in freefall, Cloud managed to squirm free of his heavy sword and emergency packs, knowing they would only weight him down. He had time to take a single deep breath before the icy water hit him like a wall, driving air from his lungs and tossing him around like a rag doll. Disoriented, Cloud opened his eyes, ignoring the stabbing needles of cold. He glimpsed the glitter of the sun through the water and shot towards it, breaking the surface of the river with a gasp.

"Zack!" he called, treading water as the current swept him along. There was no answer and his heart sank. With strong strokes, Cloud swam to the bank, scrambling up onto it and searching the frothing white ripples for signs of his friend. His teeth were chattering and he felt sluggishness starting to set in but he ignored it, trusting his mountain-bred body to survive until he could get to Zack.

A flash of shine caught his eye and Cloud ran to it, gasping for air, his legs protesting with every step. It was one of Zack's shoulder plates, and with a rush of choked emotion Cloud saw that it was still attached to its owner. He knelt beside his friend. Zack was lying half out of the water, his body caught on one of the jagged rocks that protruded from the bank, his face under the water. Cloud seized him under the arms and pulled with all his strength, the current tugging back as though it was trying to keep him. Cloud ground his teeth, digging in his heels and straining, finally falling back with Zack on top of him, free from the icy clutch of the river. He squirmed out from under the bigger man and knelt beside him. There was a bloody gash on one temple that must have knocked him out, and Cloud felt a chill in his heart when he saw how still Zack's face was, smooth and white as porcelain, lips tinged with blue.

"No, no, no," he heard someone saying, and distantly thought it strange how panicked the voice sounded until he realized it came from him.  _Panicking isn't doing any good, Cloud_ , he told himself, even though his heart was pounding hard enough that he heard it in his ears and felt it in his throat. He pressed an ear to Zack's chest and then his nose and mouth, but felt and heard nothing. "Gaia, if you take him I swear I will find a way to kick your ass," he muttered as he tilted Zack's head back a little and opened his mouth.

Lacing his fingers together, Cloud pressed down hard on Zack's sternum in time with his own pounding heart, again and again. He counted to thirty, then paused, moving up press his lips to Zack's open mouth. Had it not been a matter of life and death, Cloud might have been embarrassed about what he was doing, but that thought was the furthest from his mind as he blew air into Zack's lungs.

"Come on, you asshole," he growled, pumping his friend's chest again. "You told me it took a lot to kill you, you fucking bastard, so  _breathe_!" He repeated the cycle again and again, feeling his throat choke up. "I fucking love you, Zack, don't you dare do this to me I'll come to the Lifestream and kick your ass into next week I swear I'll do it fucking  _breathe_ asshole who else is going to tell shitty jokes and tease General Sephiroth and tickle me Gaia damn you Zack—" The words were pouring from his mouth like a mantra, but Cloud hardly realized it, hardly realized that tears were pouring down his cheeks until they splashed onto Zack's still face and then as he was moving to breathe into his lungs again, finally,  _finally_ , the SOLDIER made a coughing sound, jerking to the side and choking out a stream of river water.

Cloud let out a sob of relief, wiping one of his soaking sleeves across his nose, not even caring that it was now covered in snot. Zack's eyes had cracked open and his mouth was working, like he was trying to speak. Cloud put his ear to the SOLDIER's mouth but couldn't make out the slurred words. He felt Zack's cold fingers on his face, clumsily wiping away tears before the brunet's eyes closed again and he seemed to slip into unconsciousness. Cloud felt for his pulse and was relieved to feel his heart beating, but the shallowness of Zack's breathing worried him. He recognized the symptoms of hypothermia immediately and couldn't think of a worse place for them to be at the moment—freezing and soaked, with no way to communicate.

Again, Cloud looped his arms under Zack's and started to drag him, glancing over a shoulder at the cave mouths they had seen while hiking up towards the falls. The caves couldn't be more than a hundred feet away, but hauling Zack's dead weight was painfully slow going. Cloud gasped for air, his muscles cramping with the effort of pulling his friend, and not for the first time, he cursed his small size. Halfway to the caves he caught sight of one of their emergency packs that he had thrown away during the fall and hoisted it over one shoulder, relieved that it seemed to be mostly dry.

They reached the mouth of one of the caves and Cloud offered a quick prayer to Gaia, hoping nothing was already living in the cave. He was in no shape to fight even the most timid of creatures at the moment. With failing strength, he managed to drag Zack's body through the drifting snow and into the cave, depositing him on the earthen floor. Then, as quickly as his fumbling fingers would allow, he packed the snow and nearby rocks up around the entrance in a wall as high as he could reach for insulation. In the dimness of the cave he started clumsily pulling off his soaked clothes, tossing them in a pile and then doing the same to Zack, a process that took much longer. The man was still unconscious, but his lips had less of a purple tint, and he was breathing.

Naked as an infant and still freezing, Cloud dug in the pack he'd picked up and pulled out the emergency blanket and a small towel. As best he could, he dried Zack's body off and then his own, far too cold still to feel embarrassment or shyness about their nakedness. Cloud huddled against Zack's chest and covered them both with emergency blanket, resting his head over Zack's heart, listening to its comforting rhythmic thumping.

"We'll probably die here," he told his friend's unconscious form quietly. "I have no idea where the others are. Either the terrorists will find us and kill us or we'll die from exposure." Cloud was too tired to feel alarmed by the prospect of death. He knew, deep in his mind, that sleeping was a terrible idea, but his eyelids were so heavy they wouldn't stay open. "I said that I loved you," he murmured to Zack, and lulled by the beating heart under his head, Cloud drifted off.

* * *

Someone was shaking him, shaking him so hard it hurt. "Stop," Cloud managed to mumble, burrowing closer to the warm body under him.

"Cadet Strife, I am ordering you to wake up!" came a thundering voice. Out of habit more than desire, Cloud's eyes popped open. He blinked away the fog that was clouding his brain and looked up to see General Sephiroth peering into his face.

"General, sir," Cloud tried to say, but he felt like his mouth was full of marbles.

"It's all right, don't speak until you're able," the general said, and Cloud nodded, managing to pull his sluggish body into a sitting position, noticing for the first time that Sephiroth, though unmussed, was covered in blood.

"Blood," Cloud managed.

"It's not mine," Sephiroth reassured him. He fumbled with his materia bracer and after a second, a ball of flame appeared in one hand, radiating warmth.

Cloud gave his head a shake, trying to clear it. "We fell," he told the general, finally able to form words. "They had proximity bombs, and we set one off. Zack was fighting, and he stepped back off the cliff. We fell down the waterfall and into the river." He turned to Zack, leaning down to check his breathing. It was less shallow than before and his body was warm to the touch: a good sign. A thought occurred. "How did you find us?"

"I saw your flare," Sephiroth said, "so I made my way to where it was set off. The terrorists tried to stop me, of course, but they were no match. When I came to the waterfall, I heard the men there laughing about two enemies falling over the edge. I searched up and down the river when I saw that sticking out of the water." He gestured towards Zack's Buster sword, which was leaning against the cave wall, frosted with ice. "I followed your footprints here."

"Did you kill them all? The terrorists, I mean?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "I cleared out the camp, but there were far too few people for it to be the entire group, and Jian Tsai was nowhere to be seen."

Cloud closed his eyes in defeat. "I'm sorry, sir. They must have run when we gave away our position."

Sephiroth studied him, green eyes bright. "I wonder," he said finally. "I believe they knew we were coming. Right before you sent up the flare I encountered a group of scouts. Not a one seemed surprised to see me. And these mountains are so deserted that placing proximity mines seems like unnecessary paranoia to me."

Cloud pondered this. "Where are the lieutenants?"

"I believe they are dead. Not far from the camp I found Ryan's remains and…this." Sephiroth reached into a pocket and withdrew a heavy silver ring stamped with a design that looked like a flowering vine. "This was Nygard's ring. It was still on his finger. All I found of him was his hand."

Cloud shuddered. He was sorry about Nygard; he'd liked the lieutenant, but Ryan's death brought him a feeling of relief, which made him feel slightly queasy. "Are you sure Nygard's dead?"

"Dead, captured, or…" Sephiroth paused. "A mole. It would explain why the terrorists knew we were coming."

At that moment, Zack stirred a little and Cloud turned to check his breathing again. His color was better now. "I think he'll be all right, now that you're here, sir."

Sephiroth's green eyes held something akin to softness. "I…would have missed Zackary. You have my gratitude for helping him."

Cloud blushed. "He would have done the same for me…though I don't think he knows how to treat hypothermia. We're just lucky I wasn't the one who was knocked out."

The general cocked a brow. "He was unconscious when you found him?"

Cloud swallowed, closing his eyes briefly. "He was… _dead_."

"Tell me what happened," Sephiroth prompted gently.

Cloud bit his lip. "When we fell, I threw away my sword and the emergency packs. I don't know how I avoided the rocks, but I swam to the bank and searched for Zack." He looked down at his shaking hands. "He must have hit a rock when he fell. A normal person would have smashed their skull, but I guess it just knocked him out. When I found him he was wrapped around a rock, his head underwater. I pulled him out, but he wasn't breathing, so I gave him CPR. He coughed up the water, but passed out again. That can happen with hypothermia. I dragged him here to get him warm."

"You carried him yourself?" Sephiroth sounded surprised.

"Yes, sir."

The general regarded him. "For someone of your…stature, that is surprising. I am impressed, Cadet Strife, and I do not impress easily."

Cloud blushed harder with pleasure. "T-thank you, sir. I'm…honored."  _And a bit insulted that the general himself just called me a shrimp._

"Try to wake Zack. We need to leave as soon as he is able."

Cloud shook the SOLDIER's shoulder gently. "Zack? Wake up." Zack gave a groan, but he stirred, opening his glowing violet eyes.

"Spiky?" His eyes flickered over Cloud and he frowned. "Why are you naked?"

Until then, Cloud had forgotten his nakedness, and Sephiroth had neglected to mention it. Now, the cadet turned bright red, pulling the emergency blanket up around his chest. "I—you—we—well—"

Zack blinked at him. "Why am I naked? Did we have sex?" His eyes grew wide. "Oh gods, did we have sex?"

Cloud gaped at him, unable to form words. "Stop talking," he finally managed. It felt like his face would melt off and he was itching to wrap the blanket around himself, but that would expose Zack.

Sephiroth cleared his throat then, and Zack finally seemed to realize his surroundings. "Where are we? Seph, what are you doing here?" He frowned. "We…fell, didn't we?"

Cloud nodded. "Into the river. You got hypothermia. This is the only way I had to get you warm!" he cried defensively.

Zack grinned at him, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "I guess I should just shut up and say thanks for saving me, right?"

"Right," Sephiroth said dryly. Still holding the fireball, he moved to where Cloud had piled their clothes. "Your clothes are mostly dry. Get dressed, and we'll see about getting back to Midgar."

Zack opened his mouth, but Sephiroth spoke again before he could start asking questions. "I will fill you in later, Zackary. We're going back." He doused the fireball. "I will call for an airship." The general stepped out of the cave mouth, turning his back to give them privacy. Zack looked at Cloud.

"You can go first. I promise I won't peek." To prove his point, he shut his eyes, and Cloud gingerly got to his feet, sore from sleeping straight on the hard rock floor. His fingers were still a bit clumsy but he managed to pull on his clothes, tossing the remaining ones to Zack, who had sat up and was probing at the cut on his temple.

"Don't touch that," Cloud admonished, turning his back while Zack dressed.

"I feel like shit," the older man complained.

"Of course you do," Cloud snapped, surprised at how angry he felt. He normally appreciated Zack's lightheartedness.

Zack raised his eyebrows. Cloud's back, facing him, was rigid. "You okay, Chocobo-head?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm fine," Cloud bit out, stalking out of the cave to join Sephiroth.

Zack shook his head, wondering what he had done to piss off the cadet, and followed, still unsteady on his feet.

The trip back to Midgar was tense and uncomfortable, with Cloud taciturn and motion sick. Zack listened as Sephiroth filled him in on the ecoterrorist group's movements, but he too was uncharacteristically quiet.

When they had been checked over by Shinra doctors—Zack had a mild concussion, but otherwise they were given clean bills of health—the SOLDIER pulled Cloud aside.

"What's wrong?" he asked, keeping his voice low. Cloud refused to look at him.

"Nothing," the blond sighed. "I'm—I'm just tired, okay? I need to get back to the barracks and get some rest."

"Okay, if you're sure," Zack said, watching the boy leave. He rubbed his forehead, trying to alleviate the ache that plagued it.

Sephiroth approached him. "He'll be fine. He's had an enormous shock."

"Well, yeah, but I told him it might be dangerous. I figured he'd be able to handle it; he's such a tough little guy."

"He pulled your dead body out of a river, Zackary."

"What? I'm not dead!"

"You were," Sephiroth told him. "According to Strife. He had to give you CPR. I imagine he's feeling somewhat overwhelmed."

Zack stared at his friend and general, shocked. "Why didn't he tell me? I had no idea. The doctors said I might have memory loss from the concussion, but…"

"Give him some time," Sephiroth advised. "Come to my office when you've rested a bit and we'll talk more about the terrorists' movements."

 


	8. Chapter 8

Zack followed Sephiroth's advice and let Cloud be for a few days, texting him a week after they'd returned about plans to eat dinner together. The blond cadet ignored his message, and the next, and the next, refusing to show up to their usual training sessions until Zack was losing sleep over how irritated he was and even his colleagues had noticed a change in his cheerful demeanor. True to his promise, Zack didn't pull Cloud out of class, but he watched him, hoping for a moment when the blonde was alone. It didn't come, so he took to waiting outside Cloud's classroom one day, consequences be damned.

Cloud was the third one out of the room when the bell rang and his eyes quickly found Zack's, but he ducked down a hallway without a greeting, and Zack was so stunned he didn't follow.  _He_ is _avoiding me_ , the SOLDIER thought with dread.  _What did I do?_  He'd expected the anger that flared up in his belly, but even stronger and unanticipated was the dull feeling of hurt that gnawed at his belly.

For weeks, Cloud avoided him and Zack never saw him alone, almost as though the boy was purposefully surrounding himself with his peers, no matter how much they seemed to dislike him.

"You're acting like a child, Zackary," Sephiroth told him one day as he sulked in his office.

"A child?  _Me?_ " Zack snapped. "He's the one acting like a child!"

"He  _is_  a child."

That shut Zack up for a minute. "He's seventeen," he said finally.

"Yes. Legally an adult, but you of all people should know that seventeen-year-olds are still children." Sephiroth bent his head over his desk.

"He's an adolescent. It's different," Zack hedged.

"If you say so. Why don't you just go  _talk_  to him, Zack?"

"Don't you think I haven't tried that? The only thing I haven't done is flat-out order him to shut up and listen to me, but I know that would piss him off more."

"You've been sulking for weeks. It's irritating."

"Well excuse  _me_ ," Zack spat furiously, rage building in his temples and making his head ache. "Excuse me for having emotions and being a person who experiences hurt and heartbreak, unlike _you_ , Sephiroth!" He stormed out of the office, leaving the general behind at his desk. Sephiroth's jaw tightened imperceptibly and his eyes clouded a little with hurt, but he continued working, posture stiff.

Zack stalked past the practice training rooms, fuming. He passed a few occupied ones before grinding to a halt outside Training Room E. There was only one person inside. One person with hair that looked like a chocobo chick. Zack slipped into the room, closing the heavy door silently behind him.

Cloud was drilling passes with his sword, sweating buckets and panting like he'd run ten miles. He was wearing his fatigues and undershirt, like they used to wear while sparring. His arms flexed as he moved through pass after pass, and after a minute of watching with remembered fondness, Zack finally spoke.

"Your footing's still off."

Cloud spun around, dropping the sword. Zack smiled at him, a little sadly, walking forward to stand in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" Cloud asked, avoiding his eyes as he wiped sweat from his brow.

Zack felt his anger return with a surge. "Oh, I don't know, maybe I'm just wondering if you'll ever look at me again. What the fuck, Cloud? You don't answer my calls, you run away from me, and you give no explanation for it!"

Cloud looked up, his blue eyes blazing, and shoved Zack hard in the chest. It caught the SOLDIER so off guard that he actually stumbled back, eyes wide. Cloud came at him again with high kick and Zack caught it, knocking him back.

"You want to fight?" the SOLDIER growled, pulling off his armor and throwing it down. All his frustration and anger from the past few weeks was boiling over, exploding, and he tried to calm it down, knowing how dangerous it could be. "Fine, we'll fucking fight. Lay it on me, Strife."

He could have easily subdued the cadet, but Cloud's blazing eyes and rough, wild movements suggested he needed this, so with an effort, Zack scaled his own strength down, letting Cloud punch and kick him and offering retaliating blows of his own that helped his anger drain a little. He bloodied the boy's nose with an elbow strike and Cloud headbutted him hard in the mouth, splitting his lip. Zack spit out a mouthful of blood and leapt on the cadet, grabbing him in a headlock. Cloud broke it easily, just as Zack had shown him months ago, then turned halfway and drove a fist into the older man's jaw, making him stagger a little. Zack grunted with pain, wondering if he'd lowered his strength too much; Cloud had clearly improved a bit.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Zack asked as they wrestled, wincing when a well-aimed kick to his knee made contact. He flipped the boy over his hip, forcing him to land hard on his back and knocking the wind out of him. The blonde gulped for air, scrambling to his feet.

"You asshole," Cloud panted, going for another headbutt.

"See, I'm not really clear on that," Zack gritted. "Because really,  _you're_ the one who's been the asshole." He punctuated the words with a shove, taking another hit to his already sore lip. "Okay, that's enough! I'm sick of this." He seized Cloud by the arms and slammed him into the wall, his grip iron while the younger boy struggled fruitlessly. "What the  _fuck_ is wrong with you?"

For several moments Cloud glared up at him silently, his pretty blue eyes sharp and hard as chips of flint. Then something miniscule shifted in his face and Zack watched in what was almost fascination as his bottom lip quivered slightly and his eyes filled with tears. At the sight, Zack's anger drained out of him, faster than water in a sieve.

"Cloud," Zack started, his voice gentle now, his hands slackening on the boy's arms. "Tell me what I did wrong, please."

"You  _died!_ " Cloud cried. "You're my friend, my  _only_  friend, and you  _died!_ " His hands came up, fisting in Zack's undershirt before giving a sharp shove. Tears poured down his cheeks, splashing onto the training room floor, and between sobs he choked out, "You  _died_  and left me all alone!"

Zack caught him in his strong arms and sank to the training room floor, pulling Cloud with him. The boy pressed his face into Zack's chest and sobbed, his arms coming up to clutch at the SOLDIER's back, twisting the thin fabric of his shirt in his hands. Zack pulled him awkwardly into his lap, hugging him tightly and rocking slightly.

"I didn't, I'm fine, you saved me, Cloud, look, I'm all right, everything's fine…" he babbled, hardly hearing what he was saying. "Baby, please, don't cry, see, I'm right here, I'm not dead, I'm right here, you're not alone, you'll never be alone, I'll always be here." Zack took Cloud's tearstained face in his hands, tipping their foreheads together and closing his eyes. He was surprised and somewhat embarrassed to feel his own eyes prickle and his throat tighten.

Cloud gave several more soft, hiccupping sobs, his shoulders shaking, and heard Zack's breath hitch a little. He looked up as Zack's hands tightened on his face and saw that the SOLDIER's eyes were squeezed shut, tears glistening on his dark lashes. Cloud reached up, winding his arms around Zack's neck.

Zack felt the boy's light touch but kept his eyes shut, breathing deeply, trying to calm down. He was about to open his eyes so they could  _talk_ about this, and then Cloud was kissing him, his lips soft and wet and warm, and Zack gasped a little against his mouth before kissing him back hungrily, their lips slipping against each other, salty and slick, and it was clumsy and sweet and _perfect_. His hands slipped down from Cloud's wet cheeks to the boy's hips, closing tight and anchoring him against his body. Their chests pressed together and he felt Cloud's heart slamming against his ribs, beating in time with his own as they kissed. Zack felt a tentative touch of Cloud's tongue against his lips and groaned deep in his throat, opening his mouth to let him in. Their tongues stroked together, and Zack tasted the metallic tang of blood from his split lip underneath Cloud's sweetness. The wound was stinging but he ignored it, pulling Cloud against him more tightly, feeling fire ignite in his belly as the boy shifted a little, grinding his hips down.

Zack moaned, pulling his lips free and arching a little as the fire spread, and Cloud was moaning too, panting and gasping as he squirmed against the SOLDIER. Zack was painfully hard, and it felt so good to finally have Cloud in his arms, rubbing against him, the pressure in his groin growing and growing, and there was stiffness in the boy's pants as well; he could feel it heavy and hard against his hip.

"Wait," Zack gasped, trying to collect himself. It took all of his strength and willpower push Cloud back a little. "Stop, just let me—"

"Oh, fuck," Cloud breathed, freezing at the sound of his voice and pulling free, scrambling to his feet. "Gods, Zack, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—" He backed away, turning to run for the doors.

"No, wait!" Zack cried, jumping to his feet as well, but Cloud didn't stop, only ran faster. "Stop!" Zack thundered right as he reached the doors and Cloud jerked to a halt with ingrained reflex, his hand on the door handle. He turned, and Zack was a bit taken aback to see that, though panting and disheveled, his face was white with fear, eyes still red-rimmed from crying. He lowered his voice. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go all…commandery. I just…please, can't we talk about this?"

Cloud looked down, biting kiss-bruised lips. "Talk about what, Zack? I'm not stupid enough to hope…" He trailed off, shaking his head.

Zack stepped a little closer. "In case you didn't notice, Spike, I was harder than a rock back there. I think it's safe to say I liked it." The words came out in a rush and he fell silent, not knowing what else to say, cheeks burning. Cloud looked up at him, a little shyly.

"I…I just…I thought you liked girls," he blurted out, turning red as well.

Zack laughed, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. "Well, I do. I just…also like guys."

"And you…like me too?"

Zack gave a little sigh and leaned against one of the walls, sliding down to sit on the ground. After a minute, Cloud joined him, close but not touching. The boy's cheeks were still red and he had his arms wrapped around his knees, which were drawn up tight to his chest. "It's…complicated," Zack said finally, looking at his hands. "I  _do_ like you…a lot."

"But?" Cloud prompted, looking forlorn.

"But…I'm your superior. It's not against regulations, per se, but other people would make your life hell if they knew. I'm not going to do that to you."

"They already make my life hell," Cloud pointed out. He couldn't quite believe he was in a practice training room trying to convince his superior to have a relationship with him. He was still dizzy from their kiss and briefly wondered if he was making all this up in his head in some obscure fantasy.

Zack winced. "Trust me, it'd be worse. And…"

"You can get court-martialed," Cloud said in a low voice.

Zack leaned his head back against the wall with a heavy sigh. "Yeah." He sat up a bit. "Wait, how'd you know that?"

Cloud rested his chin on one knee, still not looking at Zack. "That night, in the Nibel mountains…Ryan…well, he threatened me."

" _What?_ "

"He said if I didn't…you know, do stuff with him, then he'd make it so you were court-martialed for coercion."

Zack grabbed his arm in a bruising grip, forcing Cloud to look at him. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

Cloud scoffed. "Can you honestly say you would tell anyone if you were in my shoes? I'm not a tattletale, and I'm used to being bullied. I could have dealt with it. Anyways," the blond continued, "it doesn't matter now. He's dead." He looked down. "I feel awful about how glad I feel."

Zack loosened his grip on Cloud's arm when he saw the red marks from his fingers pressing into the soft flesh and sat back again with a sigh. "People like Ryan are always going to exist," he told Cloud. "And I can guarantee he's not the only one who would make a threat like that. I'm sorry he's dead, but not sorry he's silenced." Cloud noticed a tightness around Zack's mouth that suggested he felt more strongly than he was letting on, but the blonde kept quiet about it.

"What are you gonna do?" he asked finally, when Zack had been silent for a while. "The consequences suck for both of us, but they suck harder for you."

Zack groaned, covering his face with his hands. "I hate my rank sometimes," he said through his fingers, and Cloud smiled, relieved that the older man was sounding like himself again. "I don't know what to do. You're my friend, one of the best I've ever had besides Seph, but…" He dropped his hands and looked at Cloud. "It's been a hell of a long time since I've felt this way about anyone." The admission made Cloud blush, and Zack grinned at him, scooting closer and wrapping arm around his shoulders, ruffling his hair with his free hand. "Aww, Chocobo-head, you're way too cute when you blush."

Cloud buried his hot face in Zack's chest, muttering, "Shut up about the chocobo thing already."

"No way! You'll be a Chocobo-head until you die." Zack's hand on his head settled into stroking rather than ruffling, raking through the sweat-soaked spikes.

"Zack," Cloud reminded him.

"Sorry," the SOLDIER groaned, letting him go. "You're right. No touching in public. At least not anything more than we used to do."

Cloud checked the time on his phone. "I have to go unless I want to get locked out of the barracks," he said regretfully, getting to his feet.

"Okay," Zack said easily. "You all right with picking up our usual training sessions again?"

Cloud nodded. "I'm sorry…about…you know, these past few weeks." He looked down. "I just…I couldn't deal with what it was like, having to bring you back like that. I thought it would be easier to just not see you." Soft lips landed on his again in a brief but sweet kiss, Zack's fingers brushing against his cheek, feather-soft.

"It's all right. We'll talk more later, okay? Go back and go to bed. I need to go apologize to Sephiroth anyways. I kinda took my anger out on him." Zack tugged his SOLDIER armor on again and Cloud straightened his uniform before they parted ways with a few lingering touches.

Zack made his way to Sephiroth's office, pausing outside the door to lean against the wall and try to process everything that had just happened. He bit his lip in a grin and covered his face with his hands, shaking his head like a love-struck teenager.

Sephiroth was decidedly unamused when Zack burst into his office. Once again, the SOLDIER had forgotten his strength, and the door had splintered against the wall, part of it hanging off the wall, dangling there sadly. The general glared, still stung from his friend's previous comments and now more incensed by the destruction of his door.

"Sorry, Seph," Zack said, wincing as he looked at the mangled door.

"It's fine," the general said stiffly, not looking at him.

"Not just about the door," the SOLDIER continued. "I…I said some really bad shit earlier. It wasn't true and it wasn't nice, and I'm sorry."

Sephiroth merely nodded, but Zack saw how his shoulders drained of tension and knew how relieved his friend felt. "Did you patch things up with Strife?" the general asked.

Zack grinned, hoisting himself up to sit on the desk despite Sephiroth's protestations. "I did."

Sephiroth looked closely at him. "Did he do that?"

Zack fingered the cut on his lip. "Let's just say he had some issues to work out." He swung his legs a little, trying to decide if he wanted to tell Sephiroth everything that had happened, but decided against it. Sephiroth's sense of duty was strong, and Zack didn't feel like getting a lecture right then. He hopped off the desk. "I'm gonna go home. I just wanted to say sorry."

Sephiroth waved him away, hiding a small smile, and Zack returned to his quarters, stripping down and getting into bed. Already he missed the feeling of Cloud's body against his, and his bed felt cold and lonely, so he wrapped his arms around one of his pillows, the comforting bulk of it enough to simulate a body. Zack slept peacefully for the first time in weeks, his dreams full of pretty blue eyes.

 


	9. Chapter 9

For several days after their impassioned tryst in the training room, Cloud felt on edge around his classmates, positive that one of them had either seen him and Zack kissing or could see it written all over his face. But the teasing and bullying didn't escalate, and after a while Cloud started to relax. There were the cadets who already thought he was sleeping with Zack in order to rise through the ranks, but there wasn't anything he could do about that. He kept his head down, studied hard, and trained harder.

Zack was busy too, as he and Sephiroth were trying to clean up the mess that had occurred during the mission in the Nibel mountains. Frequently, he was gone for weeks on end, investigating leads on the mysterious Wutaiian ecoterrorist group. The most time he and Cloud had together was a couple hours snatched here and there, and often both of them were too tired to do more than cuddle on Zack's couch and nap. It put both of them in a sour mood.

One such evening, Zack was dozing on his couch and Cloud was leaning against his chest, reading over his notes on materia fusion for a test the next day. Zack's head was tipped back and he was snoring gently, one arm loosely wrapped around Cloud's waist. As pleased as he was to be spending time with his boyfriend, even if Zack was asleep, the snoring was starting to rankle Cloud.

He squirmed around and poked Zack in the side a little. "Zack," he hissed. "You're being annoying."

The SOLDIER stirred, his arm tightening, and his brilliant purple eyes cracked open a little. Still sleepy, he smiled his goofy smile and pulled the smaller boy up so he could nuzzle his neck. "Hi, Spiky," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the sensitive spot under his ear. Cloud's eyes slipped shut and he moaned a little, sliding his hands under Zack's shirt to feel his warm skin and hard muscles. Zack's lips were warm and sweet as they nibbled at his ear, his hands leaving traces of fire as they caressed Cloud's back.

"Zack," Cloud gasped. "I didn't wake you up so we could make out."

"That's just the bonus," Zack told him, moving to mouth his neck.

"Seriously," Cloud managed. "You were snoring and it was annoying. Stop that!" he yelped as Zack bit down, sending shivers through his body. "I have to study."

"Aww," Zack whined, finally retreating, and Cloud almost regretted making him back off.

"I have exams soon," he reminded the SOLDIER. "If I pass, then I'll be an infantryman. Don't you want that? It won't be quite so bad kissing an infantryman as a cadet, right?" He grinned, resting his chin on Zack's chest.

Zack laughed. "True enough. But you're just so cuuuuute!" He latched onto Cloud like a starfish and rolled them off the couch, landing on his back and then flipping them over so he was on top. "So can you study like this?" he asked, nimble fingers inching Cloud's shirt up.

Cloud blushed and shoved at his chest. "Of course not, you giant puppy."

"Hey!"

"If you can call me Chocobo-head, I can call you by your nickname," the boy grumbled, then inhaled a quick breath as Zack moved down to kiss his stomach, next to his belly button. "Zack, come on. Just because you're horny doesn't mean we can do this now."

Zack moved back up to look him in the eye, his grin downright evil now. " _I'm_ horny? What about you, Spiky?" He pressed their groins together, both already hard, and Cloud choked out a gasp. "But you're right. I'll let you study." Abruptly he rolled off of Cloud and pushed himself to his feet, leaving the boy lying flustered and aroused on the ground.

They went back to their previous position on the couch, only Zack was awake now, helping him go over his notes. Cloud tried to concentrate, but his mind kept wandering back to feeling of Zack kissing his stomach. Their busy schedules hadn't allowed them much time to get to know each other physically. He was aching to let Zack touch him below the waist, and from the heated look in Zack's eyes whenever he looked at him, the SOLDIER felt the same way. Jerking off in his bunk at night was no longer cutting it.  _Hopefully excessive sexual tension never killed anyone,_  he thought glumly.

* * *

As Cloud's exams neared and he got increasingly nervous, Zack was busier than ever, spending more time at his desk than out in the field, which made him antsy. The Turks were working overtime as well, scouting the continent for the terrorist group, but neither they nor SOLDIER had found much. The terrorists seemed almost as though they'd dropped off the face of the Planet.

Sephiroth noticed he was burning out. At least, that's what Zack suspected when his workload suddenly lessened—not by much, but enough that he could still get enough sleep and spend more time with Cloud. And it was just as well, because Cloud was getting more and more anxious about the upcoming tests.

The night before Cloud's exams rolled around and he was a nervous wreck, pacing Zack's living room and alternating between scanning his notes and chewing his fingernails. Zack sat on his couch going through reports until he couldn't stand it anymore.

"Will you sit down, Spiky? Pacing isn't going to help you."

Mumbling an apology, Cloud sat, but he was still jittery, squirming and tapping his feet. Zack groaned.

"Chocobo-head, I promise you, the tests are not that hard. You'll be fine. I was there once too, remember? You're freaking out way too much."

"I'm gonna forget everything, or I'm gonna be sick and have to take them next year, or I'm gonna puke, or—mmf!" Cloud's litany of worries was cut short as Zack tossed his reports on the ground and pounced on him, kissing him thoroughly on the lips. Cloud swallowed his surprise and hungrily kissed him back, welcoming a pleasant distraction from his tangled thoughts.

Zack slid his arms around his waist, lying down on the couch and pulling Cloud on top of him. "Stop me if I go too fast," he murmured against Cloud's mouth before swiping his tongue along his bottom lip. Cloud gave a little gasp and parted his lips, letting Zack's tongue in as he ran his hands over the SOLDIER's arms and shoulders, feeling the hard grooves of his muscles. He rocked hard against Zack's groin, making the older man pull his lips free with a loud moan.

"Cloud," he panted, eyes rolling back as their erections pressed together, sending little shockwaves down to his toes. Zack slid his hands under the cadet's shirt to press against his warm back, feathering touches up and down his spine. Cloud made a contented sound deep in his throat and nuzzled against Zack's neck shyly.

"I don't know what to do," Cloud confessed, hiding his red face.

Zack gave a little chuckle. "You are too cute, Cloudy. You were doing fine. Just do what feels good." He rubbed Cloud's back slowly and gently, making warmth seep into the boy's belly.

Cloud stuck his hands under Zack's SOLDIER uniform to caress his rippling stomach hesitantly, but Zack could tell he was still worrying about tomorrow. Smoothly, the black-haired man switched their positions, laying Cloud down on the couch and hovering over him. "You're so tense, Spiky," he murmured, inching the blonde's shirt up. Cloud gasped and arched his back when Zack's tongue flicked against one of his nipples, and he hardly noticed the man's fingers fumbling with his pants until Zack dragged his fly down and cool air hit his heated flesh.

"Zack," Cloud choked out as the brunet gently rubbed circled into his bare hipbone.

"You need to relax, Spiky," he purred, and any reply Cloud could generate was lost in a moan as Zack licked a stripe up his hardened cock.

"Oh, Gods," he managed to choke out as Zack's lips closed over the head and sucked gently, his hands pressing Cloud's hips into the couch. Ever so slowly, his lips descended, taking Cloud in one inch at a time, making the boy writhe in pleasure, his motion limited by Zack's strong hold. " _Fuck_ , Zack," Cloud whimpered as his boyfriend's lips hit the pale blond nest of pubic hair at the base of his erection. Zack's heated amethyst gaze flickered up to meet Cloud's before his eyes fluttered shut again, mouth moving up and down the boy's length. His tongue pressed flat to the underside, working its way up and down and making Cloud shiver violently.

Zack pulled free with a little  _pop_ , letting Cloud catch his breath a bit before moving in again, probing his slit with a practiced tongue. With a pathetic little whine, Cloud arched up, fisting his hands in Zack's dark hair. A growl rumbled deep in the SOLDIER's throat as he took him in again, the vibrations making Cloud's extremities tingle. He was too far gone to be embarrassed about the noises he was making—whimpers, moans, little cries of pleasure—and Zack seemed intent on drawing them all out of him. One of the older man's hands slipped between Cloud's legs, his thumb swiping gently along his balls.

Cloud let out a cry, tugging hard on Zack's hair. "Please," he begged. "Zack, I'm gonna—" The SOLDIER growled again, taking him deep, and Cloud's orgasm hit like the impact of a train, his back stuck in an arch, head pressed hard against the couch cushions, hands clenching and trembling as he felt himself spill down Zack's throat.

Zack swallowed smoothly, licking him clean and moving up to look Cloud in the eye. The smaller boy was panting, his trousers still hanging open and his cheeks pretty and red. "You okay, Chocobo-head?" Zack asked, amused.

"I'm  _so_  beyond okay," the blonde managed, unable to do much besides lie there bonelessly. "What 'bout you?" he said suddenly, moving his hands to Zack's pants. Zack kissed him sweetly on the mouth, shifting him a little so the SOLDIER could curl around him like a giant cat.

"Don't worry about that right now," Zack murmured, willing his own hard on to go away.

Cloud looked like he was going to protest, then slumped back. "Can't even move anyway."

"But you're not nervous anymore, right?" Zack asked with a grin, nuzzling the back of his neck.

"Don't feel anything 'cept good," Cloud mumbled, and Zack could tell he was nearly asleep. The SOLDIER set several alarms on his phone and then pulled Cloud closer, loving how their bodies fit together. He buried his face in the boy's hair and breathed in Cloud's scent—something almost like rain—and let sleep take him.

* * *

The harsh ringing of Zack's phone alarm woke Cloud the next morning, and disoriented, he nearly fell off the couch but for Zack's arm tightly encircling his waist. His heart sank a little as he remembered his exams and he scrambled to check the time, relieved to see he had plenty of time. Zack stirred a little, kissing the back of his neck sleepily.

"Mornin'," the SOLDIER mumbled, fumbling with his phone to turn off the alarm. Cloud wriggled around in his arms to face him, kissing him good morning shyly. "Mmm," Zack hummed. "You taste gross," he complained.

"Well excuse me,  _someone_  gave….did…something…so I fell asleep without brushing my teeth last night," Cloud replied, stumbling over the words as the memories rushed over him. He covered his face with his hands as Zack chuckled.

"Don't give me that Chocobo-head. You weren't so shy when I was blowing you last night."

"Zack!" Cloud squeaked, brick red.

Zack laughed harder. "I'm sorry, I just love to fluster you."

Cloud got to his feet and stretched, pausing when Zack snorted with laughter again. "Spiky, do up your pants unless you want me to jump your bones."

Cloud looked down, and sure enough, his pants were hanging open. He rolled his eyes and buttoned them, still red. "I hate you," he accused.

"Liarrrr," Zack drawled, wriggling on the couch like a child. "Don't you have exams? You should get going."

Cloud took a shaky breath, and Zack smiled at him encouragingly. "Yeah, I'll see you after, right?" He cuddled up to Zack's chest when the man opened his arms and Zack kissed his forehead.

"Yeah, I might be in my office, but most likely I'll be here." He dipped his head down and gave Cloud a long, sweet kiss, with just a hint of tongue so he wouldn't get carried away. Even so, when they parted, Cloud was breathless, his cheeks now flushed with arousal. Zack winced. "Sorry."

Cloud gave him a crooked grin, getting to his feet and surreptitiously rearranging his pants to hide his boner. "It's okay. I'm nervous enough that it'll go down as soon as I walk in the exam room."

Zack smiled and caught his hand as he turned to leave, giving it a squeeze. "Good luck, hey? You'll do great, Spiky. Just relax." He winked, and Cloud rolled his eyes, but Zack caught the tiny grin on his face before he left.

Cloud arrived at his exam classroom with minutes to spare, and barely had time to panic before he was sat down at a desk beside his classmates and handed the written portion of the test. At the instructor's order, he opened the booklet and focused on the first question, swallowing down his nervousness.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sexual content warning. For like, the whole chapter. It's nothing but porn. I'm so sorry don't look at me. Also it's long as hell.

Zack jumped when his apartment door crashed open, but before he could do something un-manly—like scream—something had hit him hard around midriff-level, knocking him back against the wall. For a brief moment he thought he was being ambushed, but before he could seriously injure his attacker, Zack realized his arms were filled with a wriggling Cloud.

"Zack! I passed!" the blond was shrieking, clinging to him like a koala.

"Oof," was all Zack could wheeze, struggling for breath. Cloud drew back a little.

"Oh, Gaia, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to jump on you like that, I just—I passed, Zack! I'm an infantryman!"

Finally able to draw in a deep breath, Zack caught him up in his arms and squeezed him tight. "I told you you would pass!" he crowed, resisting the urge to throw his boyfriend up in the air and catch him. Instead he gave him one of his goofiest grins and Cloud laughed, the sound pure and joyous. Zack kissed him hard, his heart bursting with emotion. "I'm so proud of you," he told Cloud when they parted, and the blonde blushed. "I'm serious," he said, grinning. "I knew you could do it. Where were you assigned?"

"I have a couple days of leave before I get my assignment," Cloud told him. "Most everyone else is going out for drinks, but I thought I'd hang out with you instead." His eyes were pleading. "Are you busy?"

Zack's mind flashed over the thick stack of paperwork he had to do. "No," he lied. "Nothing that can't wait." He led Cloud over to the couch and sat next to him, pulling him close against his chest. Cloud curled against him, and Zack bit his lip to stop from cooing out an " _Aww,_ " at the sight of the young man snuggling into him, his soft blond hair tickling Zack's neck.

"They asked us about materia fusion," Cloud was saying. "I thought I was gonna hurl." He rubbed his nose against the hollow of Zack's neck, making the bigger man shiver.

"You obviously know your fusions," Zack told him, smiling. "I told you there was nothing to worry about." He grinned, tickling Cloud's ribs gently and loving how the blond writhed against him.

"S-stop," Cloud stuttered through giggles. He twisted around to face Zack, sliding his arms around his neck and leaning in to kiss his soft lips with the same sweet inexperience that was apparent in everything he did physically with Zack.

Zack let out a little sigh, pulling Cloud closer and angling his head a little so he could slide his tongue along Cloud's lips. The blond opened his mouth against him eagerly, shifting so he was straddling Zack, his knees on either side of his hips on the couch. Zack moaned a little, slipping his hands up under Cloud's shirt to stroke his warm back. Every day Cloud got bolder and better, and the things he could do with his tongue now made Zack dizzy with lust.

Cloud tugged at Zack's knit SOLDIER top, his hands shy but firm. His tongue was rubbing gently against Zack's in lazy strokes before he pulled back a little to kiss Zack's neck. The dark-haired man's head fell back and he groaned as Cloud nibbled gently at his pulse point, his tongue coming out to flick at the silver stud in Zack's ear.

"Fuck," Zack panted as Cloud inched his shirt up. "What has gotten into you? You're—ah!—never this bold, Cloudy."

"We've both been so busy," Cloud said against his neck. "I've missed you. I want—." He blushed, breaking off, and sat back a little. "Don't you want this?" His pretty eyes were worried, and Zack smiled at him.

"Of course I do. But you have to want it as well. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you." Zack leaned back a little so Cloud couldn't feel how hard his heart was pounding against his ribcage. He was almost disgusted with how nervous he felt; with the amount of sexual experience he had, Zack had thought he was beyond nervousness. Apparently not.

Cloud rolled his eyes. "I'm a young, red-blooded male. Of course I want it. Do you have any idea how horny I've been since…well, for _ever_?" He leaned forward, kissing Zack lightly on the lips. The older man was tense beneath him, and his dark brows were drawn together. "That's not the only reason," Cloud reassured, knowing what his boyfriend was thinking. "You drive me crazy, Zack." A flush was starting to darken the blond's cheeks. "Even when you're not around, I'm always thinking about you." He looked down, fidgeting, hating how clumsy he was with words. "I love you."

Zack's body relaxed a little, and he smiled gently. "I just…don't want you to regret anything." He took Cloud's face in his hands and kissed him sweetly. "I love you, too. Have for a while." Cloud's blush darkened, and the blond ducked his head, finally losing his boldness.

"Really?" he asked timidly, peering up at Zack through his lashes.

Zack shoved him gently. "Is that so hard to believe?"

Cloud bit his lip. "I never even had a friend, let alone someone who loved me, besides my mother," he pointed out.

Zack cupped his cheek, stroking the soft skin there. "Let me tell you something, Chocobo-head." When Cloud looked up, he continued. "People are dumbasses."

Cloud laughed, at ease again. "Can we go to the bedroom?" he asked, cheeks still pink. Before he knew it, he was being slung over Zack's shoulder as the SOLDIER made a beeline for his bedroom. "Put me down, you giant puppy," he gasped as Zack's shoulder dug into his stomach, pushing the breath from his lungs. Zack just laughed at him, and Cloud squawked indignantly as he felt the other man's large hand smack his ass playfully.

Zack manhandled him gently onto the bed and paused for a second to gaze down at how amazing his boyfriend looked spread out across his bed; even though Cloud was still fully clothed, the sight made heat pool in Zack's groin. The blond's pale cheeks were flushed pink, his eyes half closed and his spiky hair mussed a little. Zack felt his gut clench a little, and he crawled onto the bed over Cloud, caging him with his arms and leaning down to kiss him, a slow, deep kiss that built in passion until they were both panting and rubbing hard against each other. Zack could feel Cloud's erection pressing into his thigh as the blond made little whimpering noises through the kiss, his hips thrusting erratically with the need for stimulation.

The SOLDIER pushed up Cloud's cadet uniform shirt until the blond raised his arms, wriggling out of the garment and laughing a little as Zack tossed it aside. He reached for Zack's knit top once more and helped him tug it over his head, a little inarticulate sound leaving his lips as Zack's sharply chiseled upper body was bared. Cloud reached for him, smoothing his hands over the warm, honey-colored skin of his pectorals, then down over the ridges of his stomach, loving how Zack moaned when he grazed his nipples with his fingertips.

Zack fumbled with the button of Cloud's pants, his eyes raking over his bared chest with such passion and burning desire that Cloud didn't even feel inadequate next to his boyfriend's rippling muscles. The look on Zack's face as his violet gaze took in Cloud's body made it clear how attractive he found him, as did the straining hardness against his hip. Zack's hand finally got the button of Cloud's pants open and the rasp of the zipper was loud amid the sounds of their gasping breaths. In a second Cloud's pants had been tugged off, the tight material pulling his boxers down as well until he was lying spread-eagled on the bed, naked, under Zack's careful scrutiny.

Zack looked down at his lover for a few long moments, taking in his delicate chest with the half-formed ridges of muscle, the dusky pink nipples. A flush of arousal and embarrassment at being so on display had started in Cloud's cheeks and had spread down his neck and chest, lighting his skin with a warm, pink glow. Zack's gaze moved further, down to his spread legs, and he reached out to brush a thumb along the old Nibel wolf scar on Cloud's thigh as the SOLDIER swallowed hard, taking in the slender legs, the narrow, sharp-boned hips, and finally, the hard, red cock standing proudly between his thighs.

"You're so damn beautiful," Zack heard himself say as he stared at the perfectly-formed body in front of him.

Cloud blushed harder. "Stop," he muttered, looking away in embarrassment.

Zack grinned, moving up on the bed so he covered Cloud's naked body with his half-clothed one. "Can't you learn to just take a compliment?" he asked, rubbing his thumb against Cloud's nipple.

Cloud drew in a sharp intake of breath as his nipple hardened. "Thanks," he muttered grudgingly, and Zack's grin widened. The dark-haired man kissed him gently, flicking his tongue teasingly into his mouth as his hands stroked over Cloud's arms and chest warmly. "It's not fair," Cloud said through the kiss, and Zack pulled back a bit.

"Huh?"

Cloud tugged at his waistband, a cute little pout on his face that made Zack bite his lip. "You still have clothes on."

"Sorry, Spiky," Zack said with a chuckle. "Wanna give me a hand?" He rose up on his knees, straddling Cloud's chest, and the blond reached up to pop his button open. Zack let out a groan of relief as his zipper was opened as well, freeing his straining erection. He helped Cloud push down his fatigues and boxers, feeling his own face warm at the look in Cloud's wide eyes.

"Holy shit," the blond blurted as he stared at Zack's cock. The last time he'd been around a naked Zack they had both been dying of hypothermia, and examining Zack's cock hadn't really been a priority. Now that it was in front of his face, Cloud could see its girth clearly, especially since it was nearly hard. "Sorry for sounding the inexperienced virgin here, but that's supposed to go inside me, right?"

Zack laughed, relaxing a little. "Yeah, but not without some help. Promise, Cloud, I won't hurt you." He winked. "Unless you want me to." Zack leaned down again, kicking off his pants and enveloping Cloud in his warm embrace, his breath rushing out in a sigh as he felt his boyfriend's naked body pressed against his own.

"I don't want my ass hurt," Cloud protested, chuckling as Zack's hand moved down to squeeze his ass cheek.

"I wouldn't hurt your cute little asshole," Zack purred. "But I would spank you…if you wanted me to." He suddenly remembered this was Cloud and pulled his hand back with a wince. "Sorry, baby. I keep forgetting this is all new to you."

Cloud caught his wrist before he retracted it, looking up at him sweetly. "I'm not objecting…at least, not for all the times after this one."

"But I want you to have a good experience so there  _are_  other times," Zack added on, nodding. "I get it, I'm sorry. I'm so used to moving fast I forget that you deserve it slow."

Cloud cupped his face and kissed him hard, thrusting his tongue into his mouth and stroking it against Zack's. "I trust you," the blond said when he pulled back. "I know you won't hurt me, and I'm ready for this. So stop worrying." It was so often that Cloud forgot that their ages were separated by quite a few years; Zack always acted like he was only a year or two older than Cloud, and Cloud hadn't realized that Zack was probably as nervous about them having sex as he was. He could see in the violet eyes how desperately Zack wanted to treat him well, and the worry that he would accidentally move too fast shadowed behind the arousal in his movements and gaze.

He reached for Zack, tracing his hands over the older man's chest, focusing on his nipples and thumbing them to hardness while Zack's eyes slipped closed and he moaned. "C-Cloud," he murmured, pulling him close and kissing him deeply, unable to stop his hips from thrusting a little, making his hardening erection grind into Cloud's already hard one. The blond pulled his mouth free with a gasp, small hands grabbing at Zack's arms and shivering at the feeling of Zack's cock sliding against his. He managed to latch onto Zack's neck, sucking gently at his jaw while Zack's arms tightened around him.

"Harder," Zack growled, and Cloud obeyed, sinking his teeth into his neck hard. Zack let out a sound between a growl and a purr, his hand ghosting down Cloud's back again to grab a gentle handful of his ass, kneading the soft skin in his strong grip. "Gods, every part of you is so perfect," he groaned as Cloud licked a stripe from his jaw to shoulder, his hand creeping shyly down to brush against Zack's cock, now fully hardened.

Cloud paused when his hand was around Zack's heavy erection. "Do you—I mean, can I—" He broke off, brick red.

Zack ran a hand through his spiky blond hair. "What?" he asked, eyes half closed at the feeling of Cloud touching him. "You can ask me anything, Cloudy."

"I've never given a blowjob before," Cloud blurted. "I wanted to try."

Zack bit back a moan, awed as always at how a few words or actions from the blond could turn him back into a horny teenager. His cock had jerked a little in Cloud's hand at his words, and Zack managed to say, "I don't mind at all," in a strangled voice. He rolled onto his back and pulled Cloud on top of him, kissing him gently before the younger man wriggled down his body until he was staring at his cock. Zack saw the nervousness in his face. "Hey," he said softly, pulling Cloud back up so they were face to face. "Are you sure you want this? You look so freaked out, Spike."

"It's not that," Cloud said, refusing to meet his gaze. "I just…I know you've been with a lot of people. And I've never been with anyone. How can I…measure up? I don't even know what I'm doing."

Zack smiled gently at him, tipping his head up so he could rest his forehead on Cloud's. "You are so amazing," he said quietly. "Sex isn't always perfect, you know. It's messy and sweaty and gross, but that's what makes it awesome. And everybody starts somewhere. D'you really think I'm the kind of guy who would make fun of you for being inexperienced?"

The idea was so laughable that Cloud giggled. "Of course not," he told Zack. "I know it's stupid. I know I'm not supposed to turn into some…awesome sex demon overnight."

Zack let out a loud laugh. "I'll turn you into an awesome sex demon if it's the last thing I do," he said with a wink. "But it takes work, you know." He brushed the spikes of hair from Cloud's face. "Here, just relax for a bit. Sex has to be fun. That's my requirement. And you can't have fun if you're all tense and worrying about measuring up to other partners." He paused. "Which, by the way, is dumb anyways. You're not those people, so why would I compare you to them? I love you, Cloud. Just relax." He ran a hand down Cloud's side to calm him, leaning in so they could kiss. Zack shoved the aching arousal that was concentrated in his groin out of his mind, focusing on just kissing for several minutes.

The tension bled out of Cloud's shoulders as Zack kissed him, strong hands rubbing his back gently to help relax him. Keeping his urges in check, Zack kept the kissing light, just a slide of lips against each other until Cloud boldly opened his mouth, dragging his tongue along Zack's bottom lip. The SOLDIER let him lead, letting out little gasps of pleasure as Cloud pressed kisses to his chin and neck, moving lower so he could suck on Zack's nipples, letting his instincts lead. Zack squirmed at the feeling of Cloud's hot mouth circling his nipple, choking out a moan when the blond flicked his tongue against it. "Oh, gods," he said breathlessly as Cloud pulled free with a little pop, licking a long trail down his stomach until he reached his groin.

Guiding Zack to lie on his back with shy but firm hands, Cloud settled between his spread legs once more, leaning down to nibble a little at Zack's hip. He covered the SOLDIER's lower belly and hips with kisses, moving teasingly close to his dripping cock as Zack panted, but never quite touching it. The dark-haired man's powerful leg muscles tensed as Cloud bit down gently at his inner thigh. "Fuck, Cloud, you little tease," Zack groaned, his hands clenching at the sheets. The knowledge of his superior strength was always in the back of his mind, and when sleeping with someone unenhanced, he was careful not to lose control. Even if Cloud was wearing that control paper thin, Zack kept a handle on it, biting his lip so hard it bruised.

Finally, Cloud took a deep breath and took the tip of Zack's cock into his mouth, sucking gently and trying to recall what Zack had done to him. He had to be doing something right, because when his tongue touched Zack's cock the man let out a little gasp, his back arching on the bed. Cloud licked the tip, tasting the salty fluid that was dribbling from it and finding he didn't mind the taste as much as he'd thought. He focused his tongue action on the little ridge underneath the head, knowing it was the most sensitive spot, and the way Zack writhed under him made his heart swell.

Zack clenched his hands hard as Cloud started to take more of his cock into his mouth, moving lower and lower, the heat of his mouth enveloping him in its warm, wet embrace. About halfway down, he heard a little choking sound and Cloud pulled up sharply as he gagged. "Careful," Zack cautioned, lifting his head. He reached out to stroke the spiky hair. "Don't go too far if it's uncomfortable."

Cloud grinned up at him, wiping a little saliva from his lips. "I can practice more later," he said, and Zack laughed, then let his head fall back onto the pillow with a long, drawn out moan as Cloud took him in again. The blond was more careful this time, working his hand over the part of Zack's cock he couldn't reach with his mouth.

Zack struggled to keep his eyes open so he could watch Cloud—more specifically, watch his lips stretched wide around his cock. It wasn't the most experienced blowjob he'd ever had of course, but it was definitely the most enthusiastic, and Zack felt his stomach clench in a wave of love for the young man on top of him as Cloud sucked him down again, moaning around his length and making Zack twitch a little at the vibrations. He felt the tension inside him building, squeezing tight, and the SOLDIER reached down to tug at Cloud's shoulders.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Zack gasped out, feeling the familiar sensation in his lower belly that he knew meant he was close.

"What?" Cloud asked, sounding a little panicked. "What did I do? Did I hurt you?" He crawled back up Zack's body to look him in the eye, wiping spit from his lips as the SOLDIER laughed breathlessly.

"No, no, nothing bad, baby," Zack reassured him, still panting. "I was about to come, which might've ruined our plans for later."

"Oh." Cloud smiled. "I probably wouldn't have minded. It's kinda nice knowing I can make you come."

"You have nooo idea," Zack groaned out, hugging him tightly and running his hands over the warm, muscled expanse of Cloud's back. He held him for a moment as he calmed down. "That was awesome," he sighed. "Especially for your first attempt."

Cloud hid his red face in Zack's shoulder until the older man nudged his chin, making him look up. "Can I try something?" Zack asked, and Cloud nodded, wondering what he meant. Zack leaned over to the nightstand and rummaged around in it with one arm until he came up with a bottle.

"Oh," Cloud said again, eyes wide with understanding. He knew how sex between men worked; it was hard not to when you were in the military, surrounded by hundreds of other horny teenagers. "Um, should I turn over or something?"

Zack furrowed his brow in thought. "Yeah," he said finally. "It'll be more comfortable for you that way at first." They shifted positions until Cloud was lying on his stomach on the bed, his head pillowed on his arms as Zack rose up on one elbow next to him. The dark-haired man smoothed a hand down Cloud's back slowly and gently until he reached his ass, caressing the shapely cheeks before nudging his legs apart a little. "Okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, burying his face in his arms. It was embarrassing to be spread open the way he was, but he fought down the feeling as he heard the click of the bottle opening. A little knot of anticipation was growing in his stomach, and he was surprised to realize that he felt more excited than nervous.

Zack poured out some lube and slicked up the fingers on his right hand. He capped the bottle and tossed it onto the bedspread before squirming a little closer to Cloud, petting his hair with his left hand and leaning down to kiss the back of his neck. "Try to relax," he murmured against the skin, reaching down with his slick fingers to circle the blond's opening. He gently rubbed some lube over the puckered skin as Cloud inhaled sharply, and Zack continued to feather kisses over his neck and shoulders to distract him from the coldness of the lube. He kept rubbing Cloud's hole until his muscles relaxed and he started to whimper out little moans, and Zack nibbled his shoulder carefully as he gently breached him with one finger, sliding it slowly inside.

Cloud let out a little sound and wiggled a bit, clenching around the intrusion. The finger in him felt strange, and the feeling of discomfort grew as Zack moved it around slowly, until Cloud was on the verge of asking him to stop. Then the finger stroked over something inside him that made his limbs tremble. Cloud let out a gasp, his upper body rising up on the bed as pleasure rolled through him. "Oh, Gaia," he choked out, trying to control the trembling in his arms and legs. "What the fuck, Zack?"

"That was your prostate, Spike," Zack told him with a chuckle, stroking the spot again as Cloud moaned. "Feel good?"

"What do you think?" Cloud groaned, falling back to the bed.

Zack waited until Cloud's internal muscles stopped clenching and then wiggled his finger gently, pleased with the ease with which it moved. He added another finger, stretching the muscles smoothly and carefully as he curled his tongue around Cloud's ear, sucking on the lobe. The angle was a little uncomfortable for him, but the sounds Cloud was making were more than worth it as Zack scissored his strong fingers inside him. When the younger man started thrusting shallowly back on his fingers, Zack slowly pressed a third into him, watching sharply for any sign of discomfort.

Cloud winced a little at the stretching sensation, but he answered Zack's soft inquiry with a breathless "I'm okay, keep going." His hands were still trembling, and every time the fingers in him brushed over his prostate his whole body jerked.

Zack grinned to himself, pressing down purposefully with all three fingers on the gland inside Cloud. The blond let out a little wail that sounded remarkably like Zack's name and arched up, his hips thrusting down into the bed.

Cloud writhed, whimpering as the sheets brushed over his sensitive cock. The sensations in him built and built, and before he could warn Zack, he arched up with a sharp cry, throwing back his head as he came hard onto the bedspread under him. The fingers in him stilled and he flopped down onto his arms. "Oh, gods," Cloud managed. "Sorry, sorry," he panted out. "I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," came Zack's warm voice. "My fault," he added, not sounding sorry at all. "Do you want to stop? Are you too sensitive?"

"No!" Cloud burst out. "Just give me a second." He winced as Zack slowly pulled his fingers free, the sensation almost too much in his post-orgasmic haze of feeling.

Zack settled down on the mattress next to him, stroking his hair gently. Cloud shifted closer; he was lying in the wet stain of his own cum and it was mildly uncomfortable. "Here," Zack said, moving them both over a few inches off the wet patch. He resumed his gentle massage of Cloud's head and the blond sighed happily. "I have something to ask you," Zack said finally.

Cloud opened one eye. "Yeah?"

"SOLDIERs get screened for diseases every week, and I've been clean, so if you wanted to go without a condom, we can."

Cloud rolled over to look at him more fully. "Does it make a difference?"

Zack shrugged. "It feels better, for both people, but it'll be kinda gross for you afterwards, so it's up to you. I'm fine either way, promise."

Cloud bit his lip a little, looking up at him coyly. "We can go without," he said, feeling his face redden. To hide his embarrassment he slid his arms around Zack's neck and kissed him sweetly, feeling Zack's urgent erection against his hip. Zack's lips and tongue against his and his arms around him made his desire flare up, and Cloud felt himself begin to harden again.

"Already?" Zack asked, looking down at his crotch with a grin.

"Shut up," Cloud muttered, unable to stop the little jerking motions of his hips against Zack's thigh. The dark-haired man reached down and started to stroke him, helping him back to hardness until Cloud was writhing and panting in his arms. "I'm ready," Cloud whimpered, thrusting into Zack's hand, his fingers digging into Zack's biceps.

"Okay," Zack answered, just as breathless. "C'mere." He turned on his back and positioned Cloud so he was straddling the older man's hips. "This way you can control how fast it goes." Zack reached for the lube again and slicked a generous amount over his cock. He reached back to wipe the excess off between Cloud's ass cheeks, grinning at the embarrassed look on his boyfriend's face.

Once again, Cloud felt exposed and awkward, but he appreciated Zack's reasoning as he rose up on his knees, letting instinct tell him what to do as he gripped Zack's cock in one hand and shifted until he could feel the head nudging against his stretched hole.

Zack saw a little nervousness flit across Cloud's face. If the blond's experience among his fellow cadets was anything like Zack's, he'd been hearing horror stories about anal sex for a very long time; it wasn't strange that he would be worried.

"Hey," Zack said, reaching for Cloud's free hand. "Just relax. Try not to tense up, and forget everything your fellow cadets have told you about sex." He grinned at Cloud's amused glance, and then Zack's eyes were rolling back as Cloud slowly started to sink down.

Cloud gasped as the head of Zack's cock popped through his ring of muscle. He took a deep breath, but there wasn't much pain, just a feeling of almost overwhelming tightness. He paused so he could get used to the sensation, looking down at Zack's lovely face. The SOLDIER's eyes were now slits of amethyst and a dull flush had spread over his cheeks and nose. Zack's lips were slightly parted, and the obvious pleasure in his expression made Cloud's gut clench. Zack's hands were digging into the younger man's thighs, but other than that he was managing to keep still, holding his hips to the bed as Cloud's tight body slowly enveloped him.

"Ohhhh," Zack moaned, his back arching a little.

Another gasp rushed out of Cloud's lungs as his ass met Zack's hips, the inexplicable feeling of fullness almost too much. He just froze for a minute, then gently wriggled back and forth to get a feel of the cock inside him.

"Wait," Zack choked out, and Cloud looked down at him in surprise.

"What?" he asked, bewildered. Zack's face clenched tight. "Am I hurting you?"

"Stop moving," Zack gritted through his teeth as Cloud wriggled a little again. His hands came up to grasp at the younger man's hips.

"What is it?" Cloud asked, his voice a little frantic.

"If you don't stop moving," Zack told him, his face bright red, "I'm going to come."

Cloud held still, eyes wide. "Oh," he said intelligently, trying to relax his inner muscles to avoid involuntarily clenching around Zack's cock. The dark-haired man let out a breath and looked up at Cloud.

"You okay, baby?"

Cloud nodded. "It hardly hurts. I expected a lot more pain."

"Proper preparation makes a world of difference, Cloudy."

The blond screwed up his face. "It doesn't really feel particularly good, though."

Zack grinned. "It'll get better when we move." Experimentally, he used his grip on Cloud's waist to lift his hips a little. "I'm good now," he said.

Guided by Zack's helping hands, Cloud rose on his knees so just the tip of the SOLDIER's cock remained inside him, then sank down again slowly. "Oh, Shiva," he gasped out as Zack's cock slid over his prostate gland, sending shivering pleasure shooting up his spine.

"Told ya," Zack tried to say through a grin, but he couldn't even find his breath as Cloud's insides clenched around him. Instead he made a little choking sound, thrusting his hips up as Cloud came down, jostling the blond and making him moan.

"Oh, my god," Cloud managed to say. "Zack, I never thought it would feel like this—" He broke off with a whimper, the muscles in his thighs quivering as he started to rise and fall on Zack's cock a little faster.

Zack's head fell back onto the pillow, his hips moving in a gentle pace to match Cloud's. Heat had spread throughout his body, making his extremities tingle as he gripped Cloud's waist, his long fingers reaching back to stroke over his ass cheeks. Dizzy with lust, he managed to keep his eyes open, looking up to lock eyes with his blond lover. Cloud's cheeks were flushed a pretty pink, his mouth hanging open and his blue eyes hazy as he looked at Zack, never breaking his rhythm. A light sheen of sweat had dewed his skin and it made him almost shimmer. Zack was struck dumb with how beautiful Cloud looked, flushed and panting, riding his cock like there was no tomorrow, but the SOLDIER could tell he was getting tired, so reluctantly, Zack stilled Cloud's hips.

"What?" the blond panted.

"You wanna change position?" Zack stroked his hip gently. "You look like you're getting tired." Cloud nodded. "Any preference?" Zack pressed, and his lover considered the question.

"I just want to be able to see you still," Cloud admitted, sliding his hands over Zack's sharply defined pectorals. Zack reached up to catch him in his arms, lifting him up gently. Cloud bit his lip at the feeling of Zack's cock sliding out of him, and before he knew what had happened he was on his back, Zack's large frame looming over him. The dark-haired man spread Cloud's knees, hooking his arms under them.

With Cloud's legs over his shoulders, Zack lined himself up again and thrust home, careful to keep his strength in check. The clenching muscles around him made him groan, long and low.

A moan burst from Cloud's lips at the new angle, and he clutched at Zack's face, tugging him down into a sloppy kiss, their chests slipping against each other with sweat. The urgency in his lower belly was growing, ballooning into something hard and bright and almost frightening, and Zack's gentle thrusts weren't doing it for him anymore.

"Harder," Cloud whimpered against Zack's lips. "Please, Zack, I need— _oh_." Zack had sped up his thrusts immediately, and Cloud writhed under him as the knot in his stomach drew tighter, pleasure racing through his body and making his spine tingle. His legs slipped from Zack's shoulders until he could wrap them around the SOLDIER's waist, squeezing him closer with every thrust.

"Fuck, Cloud," Zack was panting, sweat shining on his shoulders and chest. "You feel so  _fucking_  good, oh, gods, you're so tight—"

If Cloud had been able to formulate a thought he would have laughed at how Zack ran his mouth even during sex, but instead his lover's lust-filled words made him tremble and moan with wanton desire, his body jerking every time Zack's cock hit his prostate. Cloud's own erection was hard and aching, dripping fluid onto his stomach with every pass, but he couldn't manage to disentangle his arms from Zack's neck in order to stroke it.

Zack had let a little more of his strength go and was pounding into him like a battering ram, his powerful body arched over Cloud's as he leaned in and thrust his tongue into his mouth wetly. Cloud moaned around it, feeling dizzy from the sensations Zack was pulling from him.

"Touch me," Cloud whimpered, too far gone to feel embarrassed about what he was saying. Zack's hand clumsily closed around his cock and Cloud gave a little squeak, raking his fingernails down the SOLDIER's back.

Zack stiffened, the painful pleasure radiating from the scratches on his back making his eyes flash a bright mako green, startling Cloud. The dark-haired man bared his teeth and let out an animalistic growl, his hips bucking hard into Cloud.

"Do that again." His voice was still breathless. "Fuck, Cloud, please, do it again, harder!" As if to emphasize his words, Zack's hand jerked hard and quick over Cloud's erection.

Through his pleasure, Cloud obeyed, digging his nails in hard and dragging them over the already abused skin of Zack's back. Experimentally, he also tightened his inner muscles a little, pleased when Zack threw his head back and cried out sharply, losing his rhythm a little.

"I'm fucking close," the dark-haired man said, his voice and unsteady growl.

"Me too," Cloud started to whimper, but his orgasm hit him like a speeding train before he could finish the words and he arched his back up hard, sobbing out his release as his whole body spasmed and convulsed. His cock bucked in Zack's hand and the SOLDIER stroked him hard through the orgasm, sighing a little as warm drops of cum splattered both their chests. Then Zack was burying his face in Cloud's neck, letting out a long, ragged, continuous moan followed by a muffled "Fucking hell, baby," as he thrust hard one last time before emptying into his lover's body with a shudder. Cloud gasped a little at the flood of warmth, arms tight around Zack's neck as the older man panted out harsh breaths against his neck. Zack's strong, corded arms were trembling with the effort of holding himself up and at last the older man slumped onto the bed, careful not to crush Cloud's smaller body.

Zack's trembling lips pressed gentle kisses to Cloud's neck as they both tried to find their breath again, lying sweaty and boneless in each other's arms.

"Feel okay?" Zack asked when he could speak again.

Cloud let out a little huff of amusement. "I'm so okay, Zack."

"Sorry if my eyes freaked you out. I know they went green there for a sec."

Cloud rose up on one shaky arm. "Yeah, what was up with that? It wasn't really scary, just startling."

Zack stroked a gentle hand along his hip. "It happens sometimes. I forgot to warn you that pain, like scratching me with your nails, seriously gets me off when I'm having sex." His face was a little pink with embarrassment. "When a SOLDIER, especially a First class, gets over-aroused, the excess mako in our blood sometimes shines through our eyes."

"Oh, so that was it," Cloud said with a grin. "At least it was good. I was worried I'd hurt you somehow."

"Definitely the opposite," Zack replied, chuckling. Then he sobered. "It's something you have to be careful about, though. I don't ever want to lose control of my strength around you. I could seriously damage you."

His face was so closed-off that Cloud reached up to cup his cheek, wondering for the first time if Zack resented what Shinra had made him into. "I trust you," he said simply. "I'll be careful, but I trust you."

Zack smiled a little sadly, kissing his forehead gently. "It's messy, sometimes, being with someone mako-enhanced," he murmured, a little regretfully.

"Well, good thing I'm gonna be in SOLDIER too, then," Cloud reminded him. "Until then I'll keep my fingernails to myself."

Zack laughed, tweaking his nose a little before reaching back into the nightstand and pulling out a small bottle. "Drink that, just in case," he told Cloud, handing him the potion. "No matter what you think right now, your ass is gonna be sore tomorrow without it."

Cloud drank the potion down in a gulp as Zack disappeared into the bathroom briefly. When the dark-haired man reappeared, he was holding a damp washcloth and had already apparently cleaned off his own chest. He wiped Cloud down gently to free him of the rapidly drying cum, and Cloud jumped when he felt the washcloth travel between his ass cheeks.

"Sorry," Zack laughed. "But you'll thank me later."

"I'm thanking you now," Cloud objected. "You weren't kidding when you said I'd feel gross." There was a weird, constant oozing sensation as Zack's cum trickled out of him, and it made Cloud cringe. "I dunno if I want your jizz in my ass all the time, but I'm glad we went without condoms at least once," he told Zack with a grin, and the SOLDIER laughed harder.

"Condoms definitely make things easier," he agreed, tossing the washcloth onto the ground and flopping down onto the bed next to Cloud. "And it doesn't have to be me fucking you in the ass all the time, either." His crude language made Cloud blush a little before his words actually sank in.

Cloud sat up. "You mean I can fuck you too?"

Zack let out a snort. "Well, yeah. What, you thought I was one of those guys who had such a dominance complex I had to top all the time? Nah, I just did this time because it's a real pain in the ass if a top doesn't know what he's doing." He grinned. "Literally a pain in the ass. Don't get me wrong, I love to top, but it's fun the other way too."

Cloud winced. "I guess I just didn't think about it. You don't seem like you'd, uh…"

The SOLDIER raised an eyebrow. "Take it up the ass?" he said bluntly, and Cloud went brick red. "You know firsthand how good it can feel, I presume," Zack continued, his voice low and husky. He smirked. "You come take advantage of my hospitality and now you're telling me I can't get a prostate massage? Rude, Cloudy."

Cloud burst out into helpless giggles and wriggled closer to Zack, tucking his head under his chin. "Fine, fine, the big bad SOLDIER can get his ass hammered," he muttered, trying to sound serious and failing.

Zack chuckled and tangled his fingers in Cloud's hair, gently massaging his scalp the way he knew the blond liked. "I'm glad you had fun," he said softly, serious again.

"Mmm," Cloud hummed, the massage making his eyes slip closed. "Best birthday ever," he murmured sleepily.

If his eyes had been open, Cloud would have laughed at the comical way Zack snapped into a sitting position. "What?" the First squawked jarringly, yanking his hand out of Cloud's hair.

Cloud grumbled and opened an eye, irritated at the cessation of his head massage. "What?" he parroted back.

"It's your  _birthday_?" Zack screeched.

"Shut up," Cloud said crossly, wiggling a finger in his ear. "Shiva, you're so loud. Yes, it's my eighteenth birthday."

"Why didn't you  _tell_  me?" Zack burst out, trying to lower his voice and failing.

Cloud rolled over on his back and looked up at him. "Does it matter?" he asked mildly.

Zack gaped at him like a fish for a few seconds. "I—well—you—yes, it matters! I'm supposed to…I dunno, take you out or at least get you a present! You little demon, I didn't even know!"

"I didn't think it'd be such a big deal," Cloud said, looking at Zack's scrunched-up face in amazement. "I mean, it's just a birthday."

The dark-haired SOLDIER squinted at him for a minute, shaking his head exasperatedly. He knew Cloud hadn't been kidding when he told him Zack had been his first real friend, but Zack often forgot it meant that Cloud didn't quite understand social dynamics between people all the time.

"My mom would usually make me a cake and give me something, but obviously she can't when I'm here," Cloud was saying.

"We have to do something," Zack prodded. "Birthdays are supposed to be celebrated, Cloudy! It's part of being a person!" He started to get off the bed to look for his clothes, but Cloud dragged him back down.

"Zack," he whined. "I already had exams on my birthday, which I  _passed_ , so there's celebration number one, and I got to have sex with my hot boyfriend, so there's celebration number two. That's all I want, okay? I just want you to come hold me."

Reluctantly, Zack obeyed, still feeling a little guilty. If he'd looked at Cloud's file he would've known his birthday, but he had been so busy he hadn't bothered. "If that's what you want," he said, sulking a little. "Next year, though, we're going all out."

Cloud smiled at the implication that they'd be together for so long, cuddling close to Zack's chest. "Don't feel bad," he admonished. "I couldn't have asked for anything better."

"Well, the older you get the less I feel like an old pervert," Zack told him in a defeated voice.

"Oh, well, as long as  _you_  feel better," Cloud replied snarkily, his voice muffled in Zack's chest, and the SOLDIER laughed, stroking his fingers against the blond's scalp again.


End file.
